vita.min

2.75

2010-09-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

I can't believe it has almost been a year since I last wrote you one of these letters! How quickly the time goes. Well, as they are known to do, this year has brought about big changes around here. Changes which I knew were coming so I spent this last year busily soaking up all the goodness before said changes happened and being more present with you. I do not regret that for one moment. I do regret that I failed to document every fun outing we did and the awesome things you said and funny faces you made, but I did what I had to do and there will be no regrets about that.

So, before I get to all the changes that have been going on I am going to rewind a bit and try and get out some of the memories of this past year. Mostly this summer. We had such a fun summer. I was determined to have the most summery summer possible and I'd say we succeeded. We went berry picking multiple times (starting off with strawberries, then raspberries and blueberries), went to outdoor concerts at the farm, visited the zoo a number of times, played at parks, picnicked at parks, took 4 weeks of swimming lessons, took bike rides, went to the beach, ate sno-kones and ice cream frequently and even visited Oaks Park Amusement Park. Most of these good times were had with our dear friends. We even had a few new friends added to our lives in the form of tiny, sweet babies who you totally adore. Ah yes, summer was good. I can't tell you how many times I pulled you in for a squeeze to breathe in the smell of outside, sunscreen and sweat on your hair. You would hug me back for a minute then run off to do whatever I pulled you away from, completely oblivious to your mother's impending craziness.

In addition to all of our summer fun we have been doing our normal routine around the house of playing, napping, snacking, etc. Your favorite thing of all time to play with remains the blue guitar we got you on your second birthday. This must be some type of world record for a kid enjoying the same toy for an extended period of time. You are really amazing to watch on that thing. Your entire being shifts into this little rock star. You strum the strings with ease and sway back and forth while singing. Sometimes you'll put music on in the background to play along with, but you are just as comfortable being a soloist. You sing songs you've learned through Music Together (mostly the "Hello Everybody" song) or you'll make up your own songs too according to what's going on (you've done the snack song, laundry, dinner, etc.) and recently your favorite local performer, Mr. Ben has been a great source of inspiration. A couple weeks ago Brody brought you home a ukulele from Hawaii. It's blue. It is a perfect smaller version of your guitar, only it has white flowers on the front of it. You love it. At first I was wondering if your ukulele love would replace your guitar love, but I shouldn't have worried. You may have favored uke for a couple days, but after that you just worked it into your act. You follow along Mr. Ben's routine (on the cd we have) of switching to the ukulele for singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and your ABC's.

As I mentioned before, your body language changes completely when you have a guitar in front of you to strum on. You tend toward the quiet, shy side when we are out with a bunch of people or in public. The other day we were at a friend's birthday party. There were probably about 20 adults and 7 kids running around. There was a lot going on and all you wanted to do was be right next to your dad or I, until you found the "yellow guitar" that matches your blue guitar. You picked that thing up and started strumming and singing and continued to do so for the rest of the party. You were adorable. People kept asking me if we played guitar to you and the truth is we don't. Neither your father or I are skilled musicians, but I have a feeling you will be the first musician in our family.

The other thing that sticks out most in my mind during this past year is how many questions I have answered. WHY? Has become the resounding word out of your mouth and though I have been told it's just a phase, it seems an unending one. I literally got to the point a few times where I just plumb ran out of answers. I had nothing left to explain except to say, "that's just the way it is." You have now taken to filling in that blank for me when you can tell I have answered enough why questions.

So, I guess that brings us to the change. Well, two weeks ago you started going to preschool! The first day was REALLY hard. For both of us. We went to visit the school together a few times and even spent a whole morning with your new classroom together and you did great. We talked about school a lot and how you were going to stay there with your teachers and new friends and mommy and daddy were going to be gone. But none of that could prepare you for that first morning when I got you all settled in and then said it was time for me to go. You screamed and you cried and I finally had to just leave saying I would be back after nap time. Nothing could prepare me for how awful I felt. Luckily the director from your school called me almost as soon as I got in my car to tell me that you had calmed down. That made me feel better. Almost. I couldn't really concentrate on anything until I picked you up and I too had my fair share of tears that day. The second day was no better. It was mostly just the drop-off time though, your teachers said you really opened up during class and asked a bunch of questions (I am guessing they were mostly about WHY?). Last week and today you did great! You didn't cry once and you asked all weekend if it was Tuesday yet and if you could play with your friends at school. You never cease to amaze me with the way you are able to adjust to things.

The next big change is that I started a new job today. I knew that once you were in school I would begin looking for work. I thought I'd find a part-time job somewhere and would be home with you on non-school days. But then, I found a full-time job. In Beaverton. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, so after much deliberation with your father I decided to go for it. And, well, I got it! This job means these changes are even bigger than we anticipated. Tomorrow you meet your new nanny. Nanny Summer. (perfect name, no?) She seems just as sweet as summer and I think you will really like her. It will be yet another big adjustment, but I know you will surprise me yet again with your willingness to accept change.

When I got home from work tonight, your dad had already picked you up at school and you two bounded down the front steps to greet me with big, giant smiles on your faces and gave me the biggest hugs ever. I missed you so much, but wow are you fun to come home to!

Love Always,
Mommy

Hi!

2010-01-14T14:37:00.000-08:00

Yes. I do realize that I have a TWO-year old boy who doesn't have a letter telling him how awesome a two-year old he is. I have started writing it, but am unable to publish it for two reasons:

1- we sent our camera cord home with my mom so our pictures are stuck on our camera. Husband ordered us a card reader, which will hopefully be here soon. Why we couldn't just buy one at the store I can not answer. That is his department.

2- every time I write more on that letter my throat begins closing up and I experience I mild anxiety attack and have to do something different, like shop for shoes.

We Feel Fine.

2010-01-12T13:56:00.000-08:00

Way back in October of 2008, I received some Flickr mail about this photo of me that Erik took on Valentine's Day 2007:

The email was from a man saying he had found this image interesting and wanted to use it for a book project he was doing and would I sign a release for that? I talked it over with Erik and it was actually a book based on a website he had seen before: wefeelfine.org. He thought it was a cool site concept and said to go ahead and sign the release. I did so and promptly forgot about it. That is until I received a book in the mail a few weeks ago...with me in it!

It's a pretty interesting book and I think the concept overall is very intriguing. They found photos based on different words for our emotions we use such as lucky, happy, or in my case: miserable and display those photos under the word and give breakdowns for the people feeling those emotions based on things like gender, age, season, etc. I am a tiny little picture and they have my words in there too, though they have me listed as "a woman" only. Which I think is funny. Anyway, kind of fun to be in print even if it is anonymously! Here's the photo of the spread I am on, listed under MISERABLE:

Check it out the next time you're at a bookstore, or if you want to purchase a copy go here. I'm on page 115.

I heart NY.

2009-12-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

So, like THREE months ago now, I did this thing where I went to New York to visit my dear friend Jessica and her sweet little family. I wrote about it in my letter to Milo last month, but I have neglected to do any more than that. Totally pathetic. Lucky for me Jess wrote a blow-by-blow account of our weekend here and well, she's a professional writer so it's better than anything I would ever do, so enjoy! Also, my camera died after the second day there so she got a lot more pictures than I did.

The last time I was in New York I went my senior year of high school *coughfourteenyearsagocough* with my dance team for a week. We stayed at the Marriott in Times Square, went to a different Broadway show each night and during the day went to classes at studios like Martha Graham and Alvin Ailey. Needless to say, I fell head-over-heels in love with New York City.

The purpose of this trip was worlds different than the last one. This time I just wanted to visit my friend in her new city and see some of the cool places she's found and maybe discover some new ones together. It was my first trip away from home alone since Milo's birth so I didn't want to put too many expectations on myself and it ended up being just right.

In addition to Jess' account of the visit here are a few other tidbits from the trip:

1- I got to wake up every morning to Snow White singing. I think it was early-ish, but every time I would be confused. Milo? Is that you? Then I would remember I was in New York in the sweet Coulter apartment, smile and go back to sleep. I got to sleep until 10 or 11 almost every day. Unheard of. As for who Snow White really was, not sure. Someone who's apartment shares the courtyard with the Coulter abode. I imagine her to be a Broadway starlet keeping her voice tuned for her next big role.

2- One night, Jess tried to show me a rat nest, but we caught them on a quiet night. Literally. By "show" she meant she wanted me to HEAR them snarffle and chew. I still shiver to think...

3- We had a few minor "celeb" sightings. Some Project Runway contestants (I was there right after fashion week) and Paulina Porizkova shopping in SoHo. We tried really hard for an SJP sighting, but it didn't happen for us. This did though and it was awesome.

4- We literally ate our way through NYC. I've decided that's going to be my focus whenever I travel. Food comes first, touristy stuff later. Most memorable thing I ate? Tie: Pizza at Grimaldi's and this beef-wrapped-ginger-rice ball thing that we had at Kyo Ya. But really everything was delicious and I didn't eat one disappointing thing.

I had the best time my second time in New York with the Coulters and I can't wait for my next visit. Next time I will take the boys with me so Cyrus doesn't have to be alone in his despair when Jessica and I announce it's photoshoot time yet again. Or maybe it'll be a girls BFF trip, that would be dreamy too.

Oh, and here are my photos. FINALLY.

Twenty-three months.

2009-11-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

On Friday you turned 23-months old! I can't believe you are going to be TWO next month! Thursday was Thanksgiving and we had a wonderful meal together. You even ate some turkey and loved your first taste of pumpkin pie. Your Grandma Carol and Grandpa Bill came to spend the holiday with us and we had a wonderful visit with them. You were so loving with them, full of hugs, snuggles and even called them "Gamma" and "Bampa" you made it pretty hard for them to get on an airplane and go home.

One of your favorite things to do right now is to help. Yes, help. Oftentimes when I see you are playing quietly by yourself, I sneak off to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher, but as soon as you hear me putting away the silverware you come zooming in from the other room frantically yelling, "help!help!" at the top of your lungs. You help with putting away things like the cutting boards and your dishes and you hand me things that go up high out of your reach. You are always very careful and know to treat the breakables very delicately. You also love doing laundry, feeding the dogs and raking leaves. In the morning, you hang out with me while I'm getting ready. You love to go through all of our things on our nightstands. You love to find my wedding ring, which I keep in a special box next to the bed while I'm sleeping, and bring it to me. I love that you love helping us. You love to have a purpose and you are just such a good boy.

Another fun thing is you have learned everyone in the family's proper names. You no longer call Monty "Dog" you call him Monty. You now know that Brody's real name is not Bro-Bro, it's "Broby" though you still choose to call him Bro-Bro most of the time. You know Daddy's name is Erik. And, yes, you know my name is Mindy. You still call me Mama all the time, but if I am being especially silly you will giggle and through your laughs say "come on, Midi" which just makes us both laugh even more.

Earlier this month I did something pretty silly: I took you to a puppet show. I knew it was a crapshoot going into it. Puppets can be a little scary and you tend to get overwhelmed with things like that, but your friends were going and I thought there was a chance you would think it was cool. I didn't want to just assume you'd hate something and not try it (much like vegetables, you must always TRY them first). So anyways, we went. The gal doing the puppet show brought around a puppet at the beginning to introduce to all the kids. It was a flamingo named Mango that was as tall as you. You thought he was pretty cool, even gave him a nice pat on the head. I quietly let out a sigh of relief. When it was time for the show to begin the gal went up on stage behind a curtain and turned on the music. It was a Mother Goose-themed show and you were a little hesitant, but were doing really great. Until... DUN-DUN-DUN. That's what the music did and a little "villain" puppet popped up. A little man. You SCREEEEAAMED! And didn't stop. We were about three minutes into the show. You just kept asking to go home so, of course, I took you home. Since then you have reminded me OVER and OVER, "little man scare you puppet show." I won't be taking you back there for quite a while. Maybe not ever.

You have really started recognizing emotions and you are starting to tell us if you are feeling happy or sad. You are always very concerned with others emotions as well. If we are at the store and you hear another kid crying somewhere you look at me, tilt your head to the side, wrinkle up your nose, nod your head up and down and say "sad." Like you feel exactly how sad that kid is. It is the sweetest thing. You also know if the characters in your books are feeling sad or happy. And you are constantly checking in with us "Mama happy?" Yes, Milo. Mama happy.

Love Always,
Mama

Meet our new family member.

2009-11-13T13:17:00.000-08:00

You may have seen my very housewifey tweet a week ago about needing a new vacuum. I got a lot of really great feedback from friends and after a lot of research we decided to go for it. We headed to Stark's this morning and got ourselves a Dyson.

*SWOON* I unpacked that thing as soon as I got home and gave it it's maiden voyage on our 8x10 rug in the living room (which I have already vacuumed three times this week with our old vacuum). Folks, after one pass with the Dyson I had to empty the canister. That's how much crap it got off our rug. Gross. And awesome. Milo had to take a nap soon after, but as soon as he gets up I am going to vacuum the rest of my house So. Hard. I can't wait! I guess I am an official housewife. That's cool. Probably after I'm done vacuuming, I'll fix myself a cocktail and flip through a magazine while the kids watch television. Thanks for being an inspiration, Betts.

Halloween 2009.

2009-11-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

This Halloween we were ready. We bought Milo's Halloween costume months ago. Purchased a plastic pumpkin to hold all his loot and Milo received invitations to TWO Halloween parties in our neighborhood. We had it all planned out where we would walk to the parties and trick-or-treat in between and on the way home. Then, both parties got canceled within five minutes of each other. Both kids had come down with the sickness. After our last month of being sick we totally understood, but were disappointed nonetheless.

When Halloween day came, we decided to head to Kennedy School where they had folks lining the halls to hand out candy to the kids. I dressed up as a witch with clothes I had in my closet (fitting, I know) and a hat I found for $5. We carved pumpkins then headed out to Kennedy School. Brody had to stay home, as his plans were foiled by him being sick too. At Kennedy School, we ran into a few friends, loaded up the plastic pumpkin with candy and got to eat dinner with Milo's best girl, Lolo (and her parents) so it all worked out beautifully. Milo even got to try his first piece of candy. He opted for Smarties. He LOVED them. I helped him eat the rest of his candy.

Snip, snip.

2009-11-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

During the last few weeks we noticed Milo rubbing his eyes a lot more. Why? Oh, because his hair was tickling them! His hair has been a little slow on coming in, so we've been holding on to every strand he has. But last week we couldn't deny it any longer. He needed a haircut. Lucky for us my stylist, Melissa, who I have been with for about 10 years agreed to do it for us. She is wonderful. Here are the photos from the big event!

Before pic:

Waiting on the couch and being silly:

Not so sure about this haircut thing:

Nice shiny brush though:

And, it's go time:

A little off the back:

And he's ready for a little product:

Tada!

He was such a brave boy! Just a little quivery voice at the beginning, but that's it! Melissa did such a great job. He definitely looks more grown up. Be still my heart. I made it through without crying as well. We saved a few locks of hair in a special little box that I got from a friend's mom at my baby shower. Another milestone behind us. So fun!

21 + 22 Months.

2009-10-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

Yesterday you turned 22-months old! Yes, you are getting another combined letter this time… but I have an excuse! Really! Oh great, I'm not setting a very good example am I?

But seriously, let's get to that excuse. Just before you turned 21-months old I did something big. I took a trip to New York. Alone. Without you. You stayed home with your dad and Brody while I visited Auntie Jessica and her family in the big city. I had a blast, but that's a story for another time. The thing that affects you is that I was gone. For four whole days. And you know what? We all survived! We all had our own fun and at the end of it we were so happy to come back together and have more fun together. It was just what we all needed. When I got back I was so excited to do all the things we always do together and I just felt rejuvenated. Then, I got sick with a cold. No big deal, I thought, I'll power through. Then the next week it turned to a sinus infection. I got a bit irritated but thought, it'll pass no problem. And it did after about four days. Then two days later I got a stomach virus that laid me out for three days. I had about three days of feeling good, then BOTH you and I got sick with nasty colds! We are now getting over that, but this is all to say that, see? I've been busy! Busy being sick which is not a fun busy at all. So, I am sorry for your combined letter, but I hope you understand.

All this waiting to write the letter is not to say you're not doing anything interesting or exciting. Quite the contrary! You are doing SO many things that are so fun to witness I get overwhelmed thinking about what all I need to write down. You are doing things like talking in sentences, counting to TEN, identifying colors and singing your ABC's. Sure you still skip a few letters in the ABC song here and there and your sentences are a bit out of order sometimes, but wow. You totally blow my mind, kid.

One of my favorite things that happened during these past few months started out to be really annoying. One night about 15 minutes before bedtime your father thought it would be a fun idea to show you his guitar. His real, live, grown-up guitar. The one like your teacher in music class uses. Don't get me wrong. I am all for encouraging your musical interests, I just thought the timing could've been a bit better. You went into the bath whining for more time with the guitar and talked about it incessantly until it was time to sleep. INCESSANTLY.

See, you do this thing where you get a little obsessive about things and don't stop talking about them. Ever. Like, also this month there was a little incident where Brody accidentally poked you in the eye with his finger and we had to take you to the doctor to make sure your bloody eyeball wasn't going to fall out. It didn't. It's fine. It was just a bruise. But going to the doctor is such a traumatic experience for you that you still talk about "Bro-Bro poke eye. Doc help you. Eye OK. It's OK." It's hilarious, but Brody wishes you would let this one go. He felt bad enough when it happened, but now he has to hear about it every time you see him, five weeks later.

Anyway, back to the guitar. So that night when putting you to bed we assured you that you would be able to play with the guitar again in the morning after you woke up. Well, you just couldn't wait that long. You woke up not one, not two, but THREE times that night. Calling from your crib singing and talking, "Eye-a-pay-lellow-tar." (which translates to: I would like to play with the yellow guitar now, please.) So cute. So endearing. So many times woken up. But, that was just that night. Though your affinity for the guitar hasn't died down, the needing to play in the middle of sleep time did. It's still the first thing you talk about in the morning though. Oh, and the songs you play, Milo. They are the sweetest thing to witness. You sit there on the floor with this guitar that is bigger than you on your lap, strumming the strings, rocking back-and-forth and singing. Mostly your songs are the same that you have been singing for a few months now. Our names, friends names, the animals names, but recently you have also been singing about the yellow guitar. You can occupy yourself for quite a while playing music (like, I have time to make coffee while you're playing...sometimes breakfast too). I have burned these memories deeply into my brain. They are so special and dear. Whether or not you become a famous musician some day and I need to relay these memories to the Behind the Music people, I never want to forget how you look, how you sound and how happy you are when you are making your music.

One of my least favorite parts of being sick all these weeks is that I feel like we've missed out on a lot of Autumn. It has been beautiful here with many sunny, crisp days where the leaves are changing and there is that little bit of sting in the air, but it's still nice enough to be outside doing things. We have gone on a few walks and to the park when possible, but the one thing I was REALLY looking forward to doing with you this fall was going to a pumpkin patch. We had plans to go with friends the day I came down with the stomach virus. I felt bad so I sent you off with your dad to experience it without me. You guys had fun, but it's not the same if we're not all there. So we made plans to go the following weekend. The day you woke up with a 102° fever. So none of us went that week. Finally, last weekend, you and I were both just starting to feel better so I made the decision on Sunday that we HAD to go to the pumpkin patch. Sure it was one of the coldest days we've had since last winter, rain threatened all day and you and I probably should've been napping, but we made the most of it and had a wonderful time. You were even brave enough to go on a pony ride! We left just as the rain started falling from the sky happy, full of doughnuts and hot apple cider with the smell of animals on our hands feeling victorious that we had made it out for such a fun adventure after a week of being home-bound and sick.

One of the other sad parts about being sick is that you and I had a special trip planned to Montana to visit Pop for his 99th birthday and we weren't able to make it. We had so much fun last year and I showed you all of our pictures. We talked about how we were going to ride on an airplane together (you wanted to make sure it was going to be a blue one, not a black one) and how Grandma might let you ride on her tractor. We were going to make a train cake for Pop and sing happy birthday, but we didn't get to do any of that. We will make the trip sometime soon, it just won't be for that special occasion, but it will be special nonetheless.

Milo, something I have noticed recently is that life is so much richer because of you. You really make everything more exciting and special. I notice so much more around me. I want to talk to you about all of it, experience it all with you and hear you talk about it. If I happen to be driving alone in the car (which doesn't happen all that often) and a school bus happens to pass by, or a trash truck, or really anything with a motor I wish you were there with me. I never knew how excited I would be about seeing a boat in the water or a train passing by, but whether you are with me or not I notice these things now and experience them in a different way than before. A more enjoyable way. And those are just the things with motors... there's SO much more than that. Everything feels new again because I get to share it with you now. I guess I just really wanted to say thank you.

Love Always,

Mama

Twenty Months.

2009-08-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

Hi, Milo. Hi. HIIIII, MIIILOOOO!! Hi. Hi? Hi, Milo.

I thought I'd start out this letter by giving you a taste of your own medicine. This is how you like to get our attention these days. If we don't immediately acknowledge you, you will work your way into our line of vision until we must give you our attention. It's pretty effective, I must say, and I do appreciate it much more than whining about things.

This month you have been all about flexing your independence muscles. The phrase you repeat over and over is "YOU sit" and by "you" you mean Milo. You point at yourself and say "YOU sit". (We're not really sure how to explain that one to you. I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later. Right now we're just enjoying how adorable it is.) You no longer want to sit with us in the chair when we read to you. We have to sit next to you and hold the book like a librarian. It's cool though. We've worked out a compromise where we read like that for one book then we get to snuggle up for the next book. Best of both worlds, I suppose.

You have formed an opinion on what you wear now as well. For the most part, it involves one particular pair of pajamas which you have dubbed "dat kind dog." It's a pajama set that has different dogs all over the legs and a long-sleeved shirt with one big dog on it. It is always a treat when it's dat-kind-dog day. When you wake up in the morning on dat-kind-dog day you will immediately start talking about dat-kind-dog, oh and also your blue shoes (boo shoos). They totally make any outfit and you refuse to wear any other kind. You are happy all morning whilst in your pj's and it's so fun… until the time comes when we need to change for the day. Then the screaming and protesting come. Usually I can talk you into some other outfit, but you will continue talking about those pajamas at every single diaper change and outfit change until the magical day when they are clean again and you get to wear them again.

Your independent streak seems to go away when we get into public or unfamiliar settings though, which is totally understandable. Since you are completely adorable people always try to engage you when we're out doing things. You cling to me like glue, look whomever is talking to you directly in the eye, point to my chest and say "Mama" just to make it clear that you're with me.

This month we went on a quick family vacation to Seattle. You got to see your Uncle Russ and Cousin Mason. We went to the aquarium, rode on a ferry boat and stayed on the beach. You loved it. You especially loved looking at all the boats on the water, but didn't understand why you couldn't play with them. This led to a two-hour nightmarish episode where we were on a ferry boat, surrounded by water and boats trying to explain to you, an unreasonable 19-month old, that you couldn't play with all the boats you were seeing. Trying to explain scale and spatial relationships to someone your age is a little difficult. We finally bought you a fish to play with in the bathtub and that quelled your cries (strangely enough we could find no boat toys). We were only gone for three days, but it was so fun! It was a nice little family getaway and hopefully we will do another one very soon.

A couple weeks ago you got to go to your first wedding. I am really sad I didn't get a photo of you, your dad and I at that wedding, but you looked really cute. No, handsome. You were all dressed up and very well-behaved (thank you!). You stuffed your face with strawberries during the ceremony then smeared them all over your dad's shirt while you were pointing at him and letting anyone who looked at you know that he is your dada.

Love Always,
Mama

Nineteen Months. (and Eighteen, too!)

2009-07-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You turned nineteen-months old on Monday. Whoa! Wait a minute, you say. Hold the phone. What happened to eighteen months? That huge, milestone half-birthday? Well. It happened last month. And, well, it's summer time. We are SO busy having fun, I just haven't had the time to sit down and write your letter. So, you're getting another consolidated letter. I'm sorry. You see, your father and I got a wild hair to paint the bathroom. And if you're going to paint, you might as well change all the fixtures, the mirror and do a light remodel while you're at it, right? So, that's what we've been doing in our spare time. We're pretty much done finally, we just need to hang some towel racks. It was interesting to see how long this project took us with a toddler in the house. In the past we used to do projects like this all the time and would bust it out over a weekend, no problem. You add a few more obstacles to such a project, but we're so glad we did it. You became enamored with the large ladder that we had in the bathroom for weeks and thought it was really fun to see Mama up so high painting (or coloring as you called it).

Besides working on the bathroom we have gotten into full summer swing, starting with swimming lessons again. This year I signed us up for two, two-week, back-to-back sessions. The classes were every day at 4:00 pm. It was a great time to do it as it was always warm and nice to get in the pool. But I tell you, after four weeks of swimming five days a week, I think we were both ready to be done. It is a lot of work to get us both to the pool, dressed, etc. We were both completely pooped by the time we got home. I'm glad we did it though. You seem to be warming up to the water somewhat. You really enjoy sliding off the edge of the pool into the water and on the last day of class you got to go on the water slide which you LOVED. We also made a habit of getting sno-cones after each lesson which was a well-deserved treat for both of us. I look forward to doing these again next year!

We've also been doing a gymnastics class, which you are crazy about! You get the biggest smile on your face as you climb all over the mats, practice your rolls and learn to jump on the trampoline. It has been really fun to watch you become so comfortable with all the different equipment. You are a natural!

We have also been riding bikes together. For Father's Day we gave your dad a new bike with the intention of getting a seat for you. You love it so much! So, we got an attachment for my bike as well and now you can ride on either of our bikes. It's so fun to have you right up front with us. We rode the bike quite a bit to swim class, and now to the store and park to play.

One of your favorite times of the day right now is when Daddy comes home from work. You immediately grab his hand and say, "tsyyee" which is "outside" in Milo-speak. You love to be outside in our backyard. Especially with Daddy. You guys pick out special rocks, fill up buckets with water, water the plants, walk the dog on the leash, have snacks and just chat like crazy. It is really fun to watch you two out there. You are both completely at home outside.

Speaking of chatting, you are doing a lot of that these days. You are exploring all the different ranges of your voice and make us laugh constantly. Your vocabulary astounds me but your comprehension blows my mind. There's no getting anything past you these days.

We have also had some good visits from grandparents over the last two months. Your great-grandad came to visit and got to meet you for the first time. Your grandpa Bill came for Father's Day and your grandpa Bob came just a couple weeks ago. You are pretty shy around people you don't see that often still, but if they are not around you ask about them constantly and talk about them. You will also do little things to let them know they're okay, like say, "Hiiiiyyy" and wave while they have their backs turned. Or you'll try to give them your toy or food.

All-in-all, life with you, my dear Milo, is pretty sweet. We couldn't have asked for a better boy.

Love Always,
Mama

ByeSpace.

2009-07-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

So, I used to have a blog on MySpace. Way back in the oh-five. Whoa, four years ago. I am going to be closing my MySpace account as I NEVER check it and it's just dumb to have it. Please find me on Facebook or this blog that you're reading. As part of my purging process I posted most of my blogs from my MySpace blog here, just so I could hold onto those little thought-jewels I had when my life was so different. I had just moved into my house, I was newly engaged and didn't have a full-time kid. It's crazy for me to read now. Hopefully you'll enjoy them somewhat too.

Reblogged from MySpace: Pizzle. 8/15/2005

2009-07-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

This weekend, Erik and I went out for a leisurely breakfast around 1pm on Saturday. Thanks in part to a fun night with friends the night before that was the earliest we could get out of the house. We decided to go to Gravy on Mississippi, where it turned out they were having a street fair. Just down the street from Gravy is a darling dog shop named Salty's. On the way back from breakfast we decided to go in there and pick up something for our dear Monty who is currently teething and needs something to chew on constantly. We figure it's best to buy him many things to keep him off our now destroyed rug, our ankles, our underwear and our cat. So, while perusing the vast selection of chewing things we came upon the Pizzle. It looked like it would be just delicious and was just the right size to massage Monty's bleeding gums. We proudly made our way to the cash register, Pizzle in hand, feeling good about having picked out something for Monty that would help ease some of his pain and make him happy. The cashier lady was super nice and we actually chatted for a while. As we were getting ready to leave one of us casually asked, "so what exactly IS a pizzle?" To Erik's horror, the cashier lady responded that a pizzle was indeed a bull penis. Yes, a bull penis. We decided to go ahead with the purchase anyway and all weekend our sweet little puppy happily carried around his bull penis. Or as Snoop would say, his pizzle.

Reblogged from MySpace: Crap. 8/17/2005

2009-07-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

How much crap can two people have? No, really. I'm serious. How much? Because we have a lot. Since moving into our house almost four months ago there have been countless boxes sitting in our basement gathering dust. Most of these boxes came from one storage area or another, so they have been gathering dust for quite sometime now. We have begun the process of going through these boxes and weeding out the things we want to keep. Most of these boxes were packed in haste as we were fleeing our past relationships, so going through these boxes has been a bit painful at times. However, it has also been quite amusing at times, like I found out that I will be marrying the man who was voted "prettiest hair" in high school (even though he really has no hair to speak of nowadays- and we like him that way). So back to the crap, we have found many things in these boxes that we do not wish to keep for one reason or another. (How many whisks does a family really need?) So, it is for this reason that we are going to be having a yard sale this weekend. We are going to purge ourselves of crap and old memories we do not wish to have be a part of our new life together. So, if anyone would like to purchase the boxers I wore to cheer camp in high school, some plates with sunflowers on them or some Willamette Weeks from 1996...see you Saturday!

Reblogged from MySpace: That's NOT what they're doing in New York… 8/18/2005

2009-07-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

I looked really cute. I did. Or at least I sure thought I did all night long...until I got home and pulled my hair back to wash my face. *gasp* "I am wearing two different earrings!" Said in such a high-pitched, screechy voice that Erik came running.. "What?" I point drunkenly to my ears... one of which posses a fabulous dangly gold pair that makes noises when I turn my head, the other ear chose a dangly pink pair that is a little more understated. "I was wearing TWO different earrings ALL NIGHT LONG!" "Oh, honey that's ok, maybe people just thought you were trying to do what they do in New York these days."

Reblogged from MySpace: oh god. 8/25/2005

2009-07-07T22:43:00.000-07:00

"Please don't brush your teeth on the couch." "Why?" "Because you'll flick saliva and toothpaste all over our couch and leave the little pasty spots you see all over the mirror on our couch..." "AND because I said so, and that's reason enough." Those words actually came out of my mouth. Yikes.

Reblogged from MySpace: Hata. 9/15/2005

2009-07-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

I say that I hate things a lot. Like, I hate it when I write an entire blog entry and for some reason myspace malfunctions and my entry gets lost...or I hate the way your shoes look with your pants, those types of things. For the most part I am not wishing any ill will towards anyone, I am merely stating my disgust or dissatisfaction with a situation.

One day, after an especially awful experience at Sears (during which I was completely ready to drop a bunch of money for a new washer and dryer) I was especially full of hate...or at least the hate I described above. I was truly upset and went on a hate rant of epic proportion. "I hate Sears...I hate Sears sales people...I hate the name Sears...I hate laundry" that type of thing (except the last one was a lie, I actually like doing laundry, especially now that I have a new washer and dryer that are NOT from Sears). Anyway, HUGE rant of which Erik and stepson were both witness to. Later that evening Erik told me that he's worked really hard for nine years to not have "hate" be a part of his sons vocabulary and with that one trip to Sears I had pretty much blown that whole thing out of the water. I explained to Erik that I wasn't using it maliciously which of course he knew and understood but pointed out that stepson might not get it. He said he would talk to him and explain and I said I would try and change my vocabulary a bit...or at least not use hate in every other sentence.

A few weeks later Erik and stepson were out on a food foraging mission. When they got to Burgerville and ordered my chocolate hazelnut milkshake the woman kindly informed them that chocolate hazelnut milkshakes were no longer available. To which Brody replied, "Mindy would say she hates that." I'm gonna be such a good stepmom.

I Love This.

2009-06-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Reminds me of my most anticipated new show of the fall: GLEE! Here's the Glee rendition:

And here's one more from PS22 Chorus, because it's just awesome:

He's been a good friend.

2009-06-09T12:43:00.001-07:00

he's been a good friend., originally uploaded by erikandmindy.

Milo and Ollie the Octopus go way back. Ollie was the first thing I knew for sure I wanted milo to have in his room. His whole room and baby shower were based around this cute guy. He's been so good to us so far and I know he'll be a hit for years to come. Thanks, Ollie! (and wonderful friends who got him for milo!)

Seventeen Months.

2009-05-31T19:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You turned seventeen-months old this week! Just one more month of wheat-free living for you, kiddo. Very exciting. I can't wait to give you your first piece of toast! Each day you do new things that make me laugh and stare at you in awe. You are amazing.

You are at the point in your life where you are aware of some of the important people in your life and have been constantly taking roll-call. Since I am the one that's usually with you during most of your waking hours all I hear all day is "Dada?" and I say, "Daddy's at work." "Bro-bro?" "Bro-bro's at school." Literally ALL. DAY. LONG. It gets a little old answering the same questions over and over, but I love that you notice they are missing and want to know where they are. I think you are starting to get confused by the fact that Bro-bro is often missing for much longer than just a day. When he's at his mom's house I explain that to you and will keep doing so, but I know that someday it's going to be an interesting discussion we have. Until then, I just love the fact that you miss people when they aren't around. You also ask about your BFF's Oliver (which you pronouce "Ahhh") and Lauren ("Lolo"). Your dad tells me you also ask about me when I'm not around—I do appreciate that.

Another of my favorite things about the age that you are at now is that you are actively snuggly. Before you were just snuggly because you needed us to carry you everywhere and you would just kind of lay in our arms out of necessity. Now though you bury your head into our shoulders when we hug you, or lay on the couch with your head on my lap and really MEAN it when you kiss us. How do I know you mean it? You make the "MMMMWUAH" sound. Sometimes the sound and the kiss don't quite get the timing right, but it's oaky. I know you still mean it. When I'm changing you you'll see yourself in the mirror next to your changing table and you will kiss yourself in the mirror over and over again for a few minutes. I don't blame you. I would too. You are also very affectionate with the animals. Monty and Cookie are WAY too nice and put up with just about all the love you can heap upon them. Literally. You LAY on them. Lucy is pretty wary of you and you two do a funny little dance with each other. She'll come around some day...

Right now you are in the process of getting FIVE teeth (that I know of). Three of your molars and two of your front teeth. I can not imagine how much pain you must be in. You won't let me anywhere near your mouth, but if I get a chance glance in there it just looks swollen, red and so sore. Despite the incoming chompers you're still a relatively happy guy. You certainly have your testy moments and times where all you want to do is sit on my lap, but I can't blame you for that.

This month we all had a bit of a milestone. We spent our first night/s apart! I was part of Auntie Emily and Morgan's wedding and which was out of town and I spent two whole nights away from you!! Your dad joined me for the second night and your Grandma Kay stayed here both nights and took wonderful care of you. It was a really good first time away. Luckily, I was very busy and having a lot of fun so I didn't call to check in every five minutes and I knew you were in very good hands. You seemed to do very well. You are always instantly comfortable with Grandma Kay even though you don't get to see her that often. I did miss you terribly though and I scooped you up and gave you lots of love the second I saw you. You were pretty unimpressed with the fact that we had returned and were probably just showing off your independence. Your dad and I had a really nice time and were glad we could enjoy some time together, but we were so happy to be back with you.

Love Always,
Mama

Sixteen Months.

2009-05-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You turned sixteen-months old on Monday. Yay! We have had another month packed full of fun and new adventures together. The weather is starting to turn here and that has been a welcome change for us. Because of the nice weather, we now have a new favorite activity. We go out on our front lawn and blow bubbles on a daily basis. It is your new obsession. You constantly ask for bubbles. "Bubba?" With so much hope in your eyes and voice it's hard to resist. Sometimes I must say no though as it's too cold or raining, or we JUST came in from doing bubbles. The times that I do say yes though, you run straight to the door giggling and saying "bubba! bubba!" over and over. You have even asked for bubbles first thing upon waking from a nap, before you've even taken your binky out of your mouth. You are nothing if not persistent.

Another favorite thing you've discovered this month is tickling. We've been the ones doing all the tickling up to this point, but you decided you wanted in on the action. So you do this thing where your voice gets really high and you go "ti-ti-ti-ti-ti" and scratch us with your little fingers where ever you want to tickle us, usually our hands while we're changing you. We mostly laugh because it is hilarious, but you think you're actually tickling us and this makes you laugh. Hard. The kind of laugh where there's no sound.

We reached yet another milestone this month in that we finally turned your carseat around! You face forward now with the rest of us. Plus, you were upgraded to a window seat. You are loving it! You get to see all the trucks and buses that drive by up-close and personal. You also get to see trains every now and again which is SO exciting to you.

Gazing out of our front window continues to be one of your favorite past times as well. We finally got you a proper step stool, so you're no longer using the old Pampers box. Yay, parents! When your Dad leaves for work in the morning, or really when anyone leaves our house you sign "see" incessantly until we walk you over to the window to see them off (your version of the sign for "see" involves sticking your finger in your nose, every time). Usually the person leaving will wave vigorously at you looking out at them from the window and you will just stare back. Very seriously. Sometimes you'll do a half-hearted, very distracted wave back and you might crack a slight smile. It's pretty anti-climactic for the person leaving, but you insist very enthusiastically on this ritual. The real fun is if we happen to be at the window in the evening at just the right time when your Father pulls up from work. Holy cow do you go NUTS! You start saying, "Dada, Dada, Dada!" over and over and laughing hysterically and sucking so much air in that you usually end up with a major case of the hiccups. It's a very nice welcoming home for your father after a long day at work.

This leads me to your words. You say many words. My favorites still have to be Mama and Dada though. You use the the sound "ma-ma" for quite a few things like "banana" "bye-bye" "vitamins" and "medicine" oh and of course, "Mama" (me!). This is where your signing really comes in handy. You will usually sign along with saying the words and this helps us distinguish whether you want a banana or me. It's so great, Milo. This doesn't keep you from having tantrums all together, but I like to think it's cut down on a few.

You have always been such a good eater. You will try just about anything we put before you. Of course, you are still restricted to things without wheat, soy and corn for now, but that will change in a few months... and not a moment too soon! The past few days you have gone on a bit of a food strike. No matter what we put before you you will turn your nose up at it. Or push it away. Or scream. We're not sure if you're not feeling well, or if you're tastes are changing, or if you're just being stubborn. It could have something to do with those teeth trying to shove their way through your gums for the first time. Whatever it is, please stop. We liked it when you would eat. It was really great. The one thing you will always eat without fail is a banana. You are constantly asking for them and you have this amazing banana radar. If there is one within a 50 ft. radius you will zero in on it and want—no need—one of your own. There are definitely worse things you could be obsessed with, so I am definitely not complaining.

Speaking of teeth, you've got five now. Your front teeth on the top are almost all the way in as is your incisor on the left side and then, of course, your two bottom front teeth. I was thinking, isn't that enough teeth? Five is good, you can now bite through things and gum them until you're ready to swallow. It seems to be working just fine for you. I really don't think you need the other FIFTEEN teeth expected during babyhood. Ugh, just writing that makes me tired. When you're teething you tend to not sleep so well, meaning the rest of us don't. So, I was thinking if you could just be cool with the five teeth it would save you a lot of pain and us a lot of sleepless nights. Just something to consider.

I started this letter quite a while ago. I am finally finishing it up on Mother's Day. We spent a lovely day together, and as always I feel so lucky to be your Mama. I love you, my sweet banana-bubble boy.

Love Always,
Mama

Life is good.

2009-04-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

Marriage is fun. Happy three year anniversary, Husband!

Validation.

2009-04-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

After writing this tweet yesterday:

I received this week's newsletter from babycenter.com:

Thank you, babycenter.com.

Spreading the good news.

2009-04-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

Amid all the bleak economic crisis news, natural disasters and personal tragedies I thought I would share a little bit of good news with you all. No, I haven't figured out a way to turn around the economy or anything like that, this is a little closer to home.

For the past four months I have been in complete denial that Milo has been scheduled to have eye surgery next week. On tax day of all days. He's had a blocked tear duct in his right eye since he was born. It is a very common problem and at each check-up the pediatrician would say, "let's just give it some time." These things usually open up on their own. At first it wasn't a big deal. His eye was always runny and sometimes goopy in the morning. Strangers always thought he had been crying or that he was upset. Then when cold season started up it started getting infected on a pretty regular basis. This meant we had to put a salve in the eye to keep the infection from spreading. It seemed as soon as we got one infection cleared another would start. Has anyone ever tried putting eye salve on a squirmy baby? It's not fun.

Finally at the beginning of January Milo's pediatrician thought it was time for him to go see a pediatric ophthalmologist because the infections were so frequent and the statistics for the ducts to open on their own after twelve months of age is pretty slim.

The ophthalmologist confirmed the blockage and said that he recommended surgery. It's a pretty simple procedure that only lasts about 5-10 minutes. They thread a thin, blunt wire down through the duct which clears the obstruction. The success rate for this surgery is very high and there's little to no pain after the procedure is done. The part that's scary is that they have to put the kids out when they perform this. You think getting eye salve in is hard, try coming at a kids eye with a blunt wire. Yikes! I have already lost a dog to anesthesia, so it really stressed me out to think about my baby going under. Hence, my denial of the situation. We scheduled the surgery for a few months out to give it a little more time to open on it's own, but it kept getting infected. Here's a picture of Milo on Valentine's day opening a present from his Grandma Kay, his eye was infected then:

So, you're probably thinking, Hey! I thought there was good news involved! Well, the good news is that Milo's eye hasn't been infected once since the Valentine's infection cleared up. As of a couple weeks ago, Erik and I started saying very cautiously to one another, "Milo's eye has been looking really good lately." We tried not to say it too loud so as not to jinx anything. Finally on Monday we had our pre-op appointment with the ophthalmologist and he confirmed what we were hoping was true: it has opened up on it's own! No surgery for Milo!! Phew. I really didn't realize how stressed about it I was until we got the confirmation that he didn't need to have it anymore. What a huge weight lifted.

Here's more info on blocked tear ducts if you're one of those information seeking people.

Yuki.

2009-04-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

So, there's this sushi restaurant near our house called Yuki (pronounced "you-key"). Before I was a sushi lover I used to make fun of it whenever I drove by and would say something totally uncreative like, "who would want to eat at a place called Yucky—harharhar." Well, then I discovered the deliciousness that lies within those walls. Things like the Vegas roll, California Trouble and B.S.C. rolls. After that I would defend Yuki's honor with every fiber of my being. If anyone even tries to make fun of the name in the careless way that I once did I will cut that person. Or something.

Tonight the family and I made a trip to Yuki. It had been a long time. I have only eaten sushi once in the past year and for that trip we went to Mio (also delicious). Today was a beautiful day here in Portland and Erik's starting a new job (contract) tomorrow so we thought it was the perfect day for some sushi at Yuki. We were fresh from a trip to the park in 70°+ weather. We got home and changed our clothes, threw Milo in some shorts and headed out. We ordered a boat-load of rolls and Erik and I got some beer and life was good. Milo ate his food and we got ours and started in. We were all spicy this, hamachi that, and California me! It was GOOD.

After Milo ate most of his meal he started his poop grunt. I looked at Erik and said, it's cool I changed his diaper before we left. So we continued eating, figuring we could just change him when we were done. After a few minutes I glanced down at the floor and noticed something under Milo's chair. Huh, that's weird, I thought, it looks like the cat puked under Milo's chair. I looked up at Erik, then the wheels started turning and my eyes got wider as the realization hit me: there's no cat here, that's not puke, that's POOP! Milo's poop done shot out of his shorts and landed in a pile under his highchair. How does that even happen?? Oh, my. Mortification ensued. I had to ask our waiter for napkins to clean up the poop then put it in plastic bags and I "mopped" the floor with a wipe. Then we had to take care of the kid. Yuki doesn't have changing tables in their bathrooms so we had to lay him on the floor in the grimy hallway between the bathrooms which would totally pass for a back ally fit for heroin deals (luckily, his diaper bag has a changing pad with it). We didn't have a change of clothes for him so we had to change him into his t-shirt and a diaper. Then we had to do the walk of shame back through the restaurant with our poop-stained kid.

Needless to say, our waiter got a sizable tip. And Yuki, through no fault of their own is now Yucky once again.

Fifteen Months.

2009-04-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You are now fifteen months old. This month, quite suddenly, you became a toddler. The main reason I know that you're a toddler now is that you need complete control of everything! It's crazy. This has been another month jam-packed with milestones, illness and lots of fun. We do it all here at the Helmer household and you're always right in the thick of it.

I guess the biggest news of the month is that one Sunday, early in the month you decided that this walking thing was alright. You started walking from one room to another and turning corners. From then on it has been your preferred method of travel. If you REALLY need to get somewhere fast, you drop to the floor and do your one-legged-floor-crawl-scoot thing to get you where you need to go, this always elicits some laughter from onlookers. It is so fun to see you walk everywhere. You always have a very determined look on your face and every day it just becomes easier. The Frankenstein walk is almost gone and you're getting a lot smoother in your movements. I suppose running is next on the list. That'll be fun.

As I mentioned before, you really like—no NEED—to do things for yourself these days. The days of us feeding you baby food are coming to a close. Unless you can do it yourself, you're not interested. Sometimes not only are you not interested, you protest. Loudly. You have developed a shrill, shrill scream when you feel you are being wronged. Your father and I aren't big fans of this scream. We're hoping it will pass so we try to ignore it. But every time you do it we can't help but stare at you with our mouths gaping open, praying silently to please, god make it stop. I would like for you to sign a contract that this screaming phase will be over soon.

I also can't carry you by the staircase without you lunging with ALL of your might to get out of my arms and climb those stairs. It is so much fun for you. Once you get going you like to point out the dog hair along the way or try to reach up for the banister, but if you focus you are FAST! We have started working on going down the stairs with you as well, but our staircase is long and steep. It's a little too scary for me. I let you go down the top stair and that's it. You are really good about going down from things backwards though. I think I may have been a little too freaked out about this because sometimes you start a good two feet away from the edge and have to slide backwards on your belly for quite a while. It's pretty funny.

A couple weeks ago you had another ear infection. Your third in the last three months. I'm sorry, buddy. They totally suck. I had them a lot when I was a kid too, so I hope it's not my fault that you get them. It breaks my heart when you are in so much pain. The doctor says that we're finally getting to the end of the cold/flu season so hopefully you won't have to deal with that again for a while. The same week you had your ear infection, you decided to get THREE teeth at the same time. Your two front teeth are on their way in, as well as one of your incisors. It was not a very fun week for anyone, especially you.

You are talking up a storm these days! Your favorite word of the moment? NO, of course! Except, the way you say it is completely adorable. I'm going to have to get a recording of it. It's really your response to any question. Also, if I'm doing something you don't like, such as pushing the shopping cart (*gasp* how dare I put my hands in front of you!) you'll push my hands away and say, "NO" in that cute way that. You also will tell the dogs to "GO" while pointing your finger high above your head. You have quite a few other discernible words as well, my favorite of which is "Mama" which you sign at the same time. Thank goodness you sign it too, because you use the sounds ma-ma for banana, medicine, Monty, and maybe a few other words. The signing helps distinguish what you mean at the time. You always try to say any word we give you and usually you get at least one of the sounds correct. It's our new favorite game.

The last piece of news is that you are no longer nursing. It was something we had been working towards for a while, but in the end we hoped that it would help with your sleeping. Also? Mama wanted some sushi! No, that wasn't really a deciding factor. But man, did that sushi taste GOOD. You have done really well with the weaning and haven't asked for milk in weeks. You don't like to drink cow's milk (unless you see Bro-Bro drinking some, then you might) so you get a lot of yogurt and cheese and things which you LOVE. The weaning came as a bit of a shocker to me. I thought I would be overjoyed to have my body and sushi back, but it was just a little harder than I expected. I am so glad we did it, but I really miss our quiet moments together. We, of course, still have so much fun together and we still do lots and lots of snuggling, there is just something special about nursing. I hope this doesn't embarrass you when you're older, this is probably more my issue than yours. But, I wanted to let you know that for as hard as it was in the beginning, it did become such a wonderful thing to share with you and I will always look back on it fondly. Anyway, I guess what it comes down to is that it's just another step towards you being totally grown up and maybe I'm not ready for that. I know you still have a long, long ways to go but this is all going so quickly. I feel so lucky that I have been able to stay home with you these past fifteen months and have gotten such a close look at your amazing development. I will always cherish this time.

Love Always,
Mama

p.s. Something sad is that it seems we have failed at taking any good—or any—pictures of you this month. Wow. FAIL. We're on it for this month, and for the rest of your life. Instead, I am posting a video of you at your finest. Enjoy!

I wish I was a little bit taller…

2009-03-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

Thirteen and Fourteen Months.

2009-02-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

Tomorrow you will turn 14-months old and I have yet to write your 13-month letter. So, this one will have to count for two. I am sorry for that. Well, to tell the truth…I did begin writing it, but it came out sounding all wrong. It talked more about our trying month than the many strides you had made. I meant to revise it but never did. I guess when it comes down to it, I don't want these letters to be all about what new trick you are doing, though that is always entertaining. I think it's important for you to know what's going on in the family and the world during this time in your life as well. I guess you could always look at a baby development book and guess this is about the time you started walking and talking. But you wouldn't be able to see that you took your first unassisted steps at your grandparents house when we were there visiting in January. With your grandparents as witnesses no less. Boy, did they love that! The whole room erupted in applause and you smiled, not realizing that what you just did was so huge.

Those books also won't tell you that you have taken MANY unassisted steps since then, but you just aren't buying the fact that walking is a better means of transportation than crawling. You've got your one-legged crawl thing down pat and you're so efficient with it that walking just seems like a pain. You can even carry a basketball while crawling. You hold it up under your chin almost like a shot put. Every day you take more and more steps though. I see you making calculations in your head when you think I'm not watching. Calculating if you can make it from the couch to the foot stool or basketball hoop. You are being your cautious self, once again. When the time is right you will just start walking all the time, I am sure of it.

These past few months have been a bit trying on our little family. For a month straight either you or I or both of us were sick! It was not very fun, but hopefully that is over with. We were cooped up in the house way too much during that time, also not fun. And at the beginning of this month, your dad was laid-off from his job. You see, it's tough times right now in our economy. But hopefully, with our new President things will be getting better sometime soon. The good news is that your father has been working very hard and has gotten some temporary work which will hopefully get us through these times just fine. You love this because he's working from home now. You get to see him much more often and it's hard to make you understand that even though he's home all the time he's not always able to play. But I know he loves seeing you more too.

Though these months have been hard we have never been more solid as a family. That's what families do. We are there for each other through thick and thin. We are very lucky to have each other and wonderful friends around us. I don't think you've picked up on anything that's going on. However, if things get a little too serious around here, you are always waiting for us with a smile, giggle or new word to melt our hearts with and make us realize we've got everything we could ever need right here. Thank you for that. Oh yeah, one other thing. You're talking! Well, kind of. It's not anything that's really discernible if heard out of context, but it's there. You're working out the sounds at least. You try out almost every word we say. My favorite of the moment is "yogurt" which you pronounce as "go-goo-k". swoon

Love Always,
Mama

If you don't have anything nice to say…

2009-02-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie, I've totally been avoiding you. It's kind of been a doozie of a year so far in our household. It all started out fine with a family trip to Salt Lake City, but when we got home it just seemed like everything kept going wrong. It started off with Milo's refusal to sleep, then our water heater broke and we had to get a new one, then our furnace broke and had to be repaired, then Milo got sick with the worst cold of his life and an ear infection (again, we didn't sleep for another week), then Erik and I got colds (no big! just colds!), then Erik got laid-off, then my cold turned into a sinus infection. I think that's everything. Can you see why I've been avoiding you? I haven't had anything interesting to say, other than whining about all these things. Boring! I also know people who are going through a lot more and they are hardly whining about it, so I feel like I should just suck it up. So, I've been trying really hard to do that, but, this stuff is kind of consuming me and then it's hard to think about other things, let alone write about them. So, I guess I'm just getting it all out there so we can move on already.

Things are hopefully looking up around here. Today we've got a sleep coach coming to help us all get some sleep, Erik scored a month-long contract with a company with hopes that there will be more work after a month and thanks to the weird netti pot my sinus infection seems to be on it's way out. So, here's to sleep and good things happening!

Currently making me hungry…

2009-02-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

and nauseated at the same time.

Sloppy Joe on a Krispy Kreme

French Fry ensconced Hot Dog on a stick

via http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

This Week.

2009-01-27T23:35:00.000-08:00

This was supposed to be the week. The week I started talking on the phone again. The week I catch up on my correspondences. The week I visited friends I've been wanting to visit all month. The week I wrote those blogs I've been writing in my head about my crazy month*. Then, as it turns out, this is the week Milo comes down with his worst cold yet. He is currently upstairs wheezing, his body struggling to choose between sleep and breathing. Breathing usually wins. So, those things will have to wait. I need to snuggle my baby better. I can barely form complete thoughts let alone sentences and once I have those thoughts they are gone. Things will get back to normal around here, I promise. As soon as my baby feels better. I would do anything to make him feel better right now. Even if it means getting sick myself, which I am sure is the next step in all of this. I won't even complain when I do**.

* It's probably for the best. All I was going to do was whine about things that don't affect anyone but me. You don't want to hear that anyway! It's for the best. Really!

** Lie! I will totally complain. It's who I am. Hopefully I'll just save it for Facebook though.

Twelve Months: a pictorial.

2009-01-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

Brand New:

January:

February:

March:

April:

May:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

Twelve Months.

2008-12-31T20:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

On Saturday you turned ONE! Sorry I didn't post this sooner, but did you know you picked a very busy time of year to be born? Well, you did. Plus, I wanted to be able to tell you all about your special day in addition to the rest of our busy month.

This was a very fun-filled month, my guess is December always will be. The normal excitement of the holidays was heightened by the arrival of snow! Real snow! In Portland! It even stuck around for Christmas. It was a lot of fun to get you out in the powder for the first time. I also got you one of my favorite books The Snowy Day and got to read it to you multiple times a day. You were quite fascinated by the white stuff. I am sorry to say that it is not typical for Portland to have the kind of snow we did this year, but we'll see. With Global Warming (or Cooling, or whatever) things could be changing. I would not complain if it did (though our environment might retaliate). I would love for you to grow up around the snow as I did. Though I would hope that the city would find a better way to deal with it so that we wouldn't be home-bound for days on end as we were this time around… but I digress. Being home-bound did get a little old after a while, but we had as much fun as we could. You learned to use your Pampers wipes box as a stepping stool to perch yourself at the front window so you could gaze upon all the snow and the big snowplows and trucks going by our house. It quickly became your new favorite activity.

You have had a huge surge in comprehension and verbal development this month. You now can tell us that a cow says "moo," a clock says "tick-tock," you say and sign "shoes" at the same time and you say something that sounds a lot like "balloon" when you look at the book The Red Balloon. Now all these things may be hard for just any normal person to pick up on, but to your father and I they are as clear as day and will only become clearer I'm sure. Our recent cold weather has lead us to have many fires and you are obsessed with telling us that the fire is "hot" while signing it. You also let us know that the oven is hot and the heater in your room—you are very aware of all the hot things in the house and we are grateful for that.

Your motor skills are developing quite nicely as well. Anytime you hear music—whether it be from one of your toys or the stereo—you start dancing. And by dancing I mean bobbing your head and your bottom. You have the cutest baby dance ever. You are working on your walking and now only require one hand from us when walking around the house. If we offer you the other one you quickly bat it away and continue on your path. You are so close to doing it on your own, just a little more confidence and you will be there! You got a really cool walker from your Grandma Kay for Christmas that you love to cruise around the house with now. You do it with a huge grin plastered to your face.

Speaking of Christmas, your first Christmas was so much fun. We had a full house and it was just perfect. Your Grandma Carol and Grandpa Bill were able to be here to celebrate with us and of course, your brother was here as well. You were pretty amazed by all the new toys that you got and I'm sure you were wondering where they all came from. We read some Christmas stories together and listened to Christmas music, but I think next year you will really start to understand a little bit better just what's going on!

Two days after Christmas, of course, it was your birthday! We took down all the Christmas decorations the day after so there wouldn't be any competition on your big day. We invited some of your friends over that have been so wonderful to us this year and had a little party. The whole party centered around you getting your first taste of sugar in the form of a giant cupcake! You absolutely loved it and loved when everyone sang to you and cheered for you as you ate your cake. Seems like you got the love of the spotlight from me. You then got to open even more presents. You are a very lucky boy and loved by so many people. The one dud of the party were the balloons. I thought since you love the book The Red Balloon so much you would be very excited to have some red balloons of your own at your party. You were really interested in them gesturing towards them and saying "balloon!" but as soon as we brought one towards you you screeched! Not in a good way. So, we quickly got rid of all the balloons and your little friends got to take them home with them.

As I write this it is New Year's Eve. Last year we were in the hospital with your jaundice for New Year's. This year you are already tucked safely in your bed snuggled in for sleep. You have made 2008 such a wonderful year for me, it was a challenging year in so many ways for so many people (including me), but you make it all worth it. As I reflect on our first year together, all I can do is just marvel at you. You have gone from this tiny, little, helpless being to this smart, funny, healthy and kind little boy. You are still and will always be my little baby, but it is so fun to watch all your developments. You are such a light in my life and many others lives. I love you more than I can say.

Love Always,
Mama

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-23T14:55:00.000-08:00

You're welcome.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

2008-12-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

Milo's first snowstorm:

Liberation.

2008-12-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

Milo and I had an appointment on Tuesday with his doctor to discuss his diet, food allergies and weaning. I am feeling ready to wean him and get back to eating butter and cheese and sushi. So, I wanted to discuss the best way to go about this. The doctor said that I should try reintroducing dairy back into my diet to see if he's outgrown the allergy yet. If he has, then he can just have regular ole cow's milk when we drop a feeding, if not, we'll wean to goat's milk.

*record scratch*

Wait, did she just say reintroduce dairy into my diet??? Um, okay!

I started that very night by making pizza bread with real mozzarella cheese. Didn't knock my socks off—but hey, it was cheese! Wednesday morning I had a lemon danish with my coffee. When I was at the store staring back at all the breakfast pastries that have been taunting me for the past six months my eyes actually welled up with tears. This has been a long time coming and I could choose any pastry my heart desired. It was good. For dinner, Erik made nachos! Cheddar cheese, I have missed thee! Then I had the last piece of the pumpkin pie I made for Thanksgiving (I wasn't able to eat it before because I made it with butter and evaporated milk). It was delicious! Oh, and I topped it with whipped cream. I'm in heaven here, people.

Next up? Cream in my coffee. Adios Rice Milk. Sucka. (though I do have a new found affinity for RiceNog in my coffee, might keep that up)

Also next up? My weight, I'm sure...

p.s. So far, no ill effects on Milo OR me!

Eleven Months.

2008-11-26T10:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

Tomorrow you will turn eleven-months old. It is also Thanksgiving. I remember last year the gift you gave me on Thanksgiving, which was to drop out of my ribs and into my pelvis, therefore giving my stomach room and making it possible for me to eat a huge Thanksgiving meal. This year, we are still on that diet. You know, the one where we can't have dairy or soy? Do you know what that means? Thanksgiving without butter. Yeah, just sit on that one for a minute. Hopefully you now you can begin to realize just how much I love you.

Your signing has really taken off this month. I think you're up to close to ten signs. Your signs range from the ubiquitous "light" to the useful "more" and "all-done" to the random "hat" and "dog" to your very favorite obsession this month: "baby." You somehow really needed to tell us about the crush you have on the baby on the Pampers box and so out of nowhere you started signing baby. It took us a little bit to realize what you were talking about, but your dad finally figured it out. Now it's clear as day. If the baby's not in sight you sign baby wondering where it is. If it's right in front of you, you'll sign baby, smile at it lovingly and point to it. It's pretty much the most heart meltingly cute thing I've ever seen.

Last week you finally had your first tooth break through! It's still working it's way up and out of your gums, slowly but surely it's becoming a bona fide tooth. You've handled the whole thing pretty well. This month we've been working really hard on your sleeping habits, trying to help you stay asleep in your bed all night. We were doing pretty well and making some good progress. That is until Tooth. I am sure there will always be something that comes up like this, but at least we have a pretty good system down now that we can all live with. During those times when you are sleeping you have developed a new preferred sleeping position. It's one where you scrunch yourself up in a ball so your knees are tucked up under your tummy and your face is off to one side, you hold onto your little Douglas monkey and stick your cute little bottom straight up in the air. It's precious and your father and I find excuses to go check on you just so we can look at you sleeping in this position.

Your confidence has continued to improve this month as well. Your father and I even got to go out on a date. Alone. Just the two of us. Two weeks in a row. And you did…great! We've since left you with a babysitter a couple other times and she says it's like night and day the difference between now and a couple months ago. You don't even cry when we leave.

You are full of kisses and hugs. We can now ask you for a kiss and you'll turn to us, mouth wide-open ready for a big, sloppy kiss. You also kiss the dogs and cat constantly too. The dogs love it, Cookie does too, but she pretends not to.

I just can not believe all the changes you have gone through. I also can not believe you are a month away from being a year old! What?!? How did that happen? Where's my little baby who just lays around and only wants to eat, sleep and poop? Well, I am glad that he has grown up. Each new stage, milestone and development is so fun and I know it only keeps getting better. I am left, this day before Thanksgiving, once again feeling very thankful for having the opportunity to be Milo's Mama.

Love Always,
Mama

I Made Something.

2008-11-25T09:06:00.000-08:00

The light in the fall is so beautiful. However, it shines in such a way that during Milo's afternoon nap it goes directly through his window and into eyeballs. In lieu of putting aluminum foil on his windows, we decided it was finally time to get the kid some curtains. Erik and I picked out some cute fabric and thanks to Emily's support, guidance and her adorable pink sewing machine Milo now has curtains in his room!

Next up: I get my own pink sewing machine and sew the crap out of my entire house!

Tooth Ahoy!

2008-11-22T11:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. Milo's first tooth has broken through. After months and months of blaming every stuffy nose, red cheek and bad attitude on teething we finally have an actual tooth. The reality of the teething was not as bad as we thought it would be. He's been a little more clingy and less willing to sleep in his own bed at night, but other than that it's been a pretty routine process. I am going to miss those toothless grins…

Amen.

2008-11-19T22:11:00.001-08:00

Edited to say: I have no idea who this guy is. Maybe I should, I dunno. I just saw this somewhere and really liked what he had to say and the passion with which he said it. Where I differ from this guy is I do have quite a few people in my life who this affects. They may not live in California...but this isn't just about California. That may be where this proposal originates, but this needs to be a national issue. It affects all of us.

Button.

2008-11-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

Milo has discovered my belly button. When he is getting ready to nurse he sees it and sticks his finger in it, which makes me squirm and giggle, which in turn makes him giggle, which makes me laugh and so on. The whole thing is just too much fun for him.

This reminds me of a time last year when I went over to have morning coffee with Evie and Oliver. Oliver was way into belly buttons at the time. He kept lifting his shirt and looking at his own button and then going over to Evie and asking to look at hers. Comparing, if you will. Finally he came over to me and asked to see mine. I, of course, obliged but warned him that mine was a little different looking. I will never forget the look on his face when I lifted my shirt to revel a VERY outie belly button stretched tight over a large pregnant belly. I tried to make it funny by making honking noises while pushing it in, but he wouldn't come near me. Poor kid, I hope I didn't scar him for life.

Sleep.

2008-11-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

I've come to the conclusion that this whole "sleeping through the night" thing is just an urban mommy legend meant to make moms feel like they're doing it wrong.

LOL

2008-11-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

Last Night...

2008-11-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

We were giddily and nervously checking voting progress throughout the day. We'd been waiting for a long time for this day. Cautious optimism filling our hearts and minds, wanting to believe that others felt the same. We took Milo to his sign language class at 5:00 then raced home with Fire on the Mountain, moved his high chair into the family room and fed him and ourselves in front of the t.v. He never gets to watch t.v. but we let him know this was a very special night. We watched as results started flowing in, the caution started melting away and optimism took over. Then the clock struck seven and it was time to get the kid to bed. We took turns doing the nighttime routine, one bathed Milo while the other watched the results and reported progress. I put a bottle of champagne in the freezer while Erik was putting Milo in his p.j.s. Finally, Milo was asleep at 7:40 and I ran downstairs to join Erik on the couch. We watched the Silver Fox chat it up with his panel of experts, then he cut one of them off and said, "we have some more results to share with you." They called the west coast for Obama and put up his picture with President Elect. Erik and I turned to each other with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces. This is it. We did it, America. We immediately heard horns honking, fireworks going off outside and people yelling. It all felt so right. Erik ran to pop the bottle of champagne and pop it did! Milo didn't even wake up. Then we quickly returned to our spots on the couch. Looking at the t.v. then each other and back again, over and over champagne in hand, tears in our eyes and pride in our hearts. It was a perfect night. One I will tell Milo about when he is older. I am so glad that he won't even probably realize the magnitude of this night, because I have hope that this is truly a new direction for our country. Sure, he will read things in history books and it will be hard for him to fathom, as some of our history is hard for me to fathom.

I know we still have a long way to go, there is 48% of the country who didn't take part in this movement for change and there is still a lot of discrimination in our country, just look at the propositions on gay marriage and adoption that got passed. But, I feel that if anyone can bring us all together it's Barack. We've taken a very large step in the right direction, we've got the momentum, now we just need to do the work and keep it going.

Thank you, Mr. President, for inspiring such hope in our country. I can't wait until January.

Ten Months.

2008-10-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You are now ten-months old and your personality is just blossoming this month. You are full of smiles, laughs, words and wonder.

Your favorite thing to do this month is point at things so we can tell you what they are. You point at EVERYTHING. Going down the produce aisle at the grocery store takes forever because you are pointing at each fruit and vegetable and saying "dah" which I take to mean "could you please tell me what that one is, Mama?" So, I go through and name them all for you, then you point up at the lights and sign light, then you point at all the people walking by until they smile at you and tell you how cute you are. That's when you really turn it on: smiling your biggest toothless grin at the stranger while mashing your chin into your shoulder and cocking your head at just the right angle so you can still make eye contact with them. That's right, you've learned to flirt. And you are GOOD. You have turned even the most surly grocery shopper into a puddle of baby goo.

Last week we took our first airplane trip together to Montana to stay at Grandma's house for the first time and attend your Great GrandPop's 98th birthday party. First of all, I was nervous about the plane ride, but we'll get to that in a moment. The party for Pop was the day after we arrived, Saturday. On Friday I began to realize that "party" meant a bunch of people. Strange people you had never met before, in a place that was strange to you. I started to feel a little anxious that your stranger anxiety would kick in and you would scream throughout the party. No need though. There were over thirty people there and they all wanted to coo and fuss over you and hold you… and you let them! You didn't cry once! When people would grab you out of my arms you barely even looked back to see if I was still there. I was so proud of you. You were definitely the second star of the party, I wouldn't let you take the spotlight completely off of Pop—he does have 97 years on you, kid.

Now, back to that plane ride. This was another new, anxiety-inducing thing for me. There is something terrifying about being in such a small, confined space with a bunch of people for an extended amount of time with a baby who could possibly scream their face off for the entire hour-and-a-half and make everyone's lives a living hell. But, my anxieties were again unfounded. You were absolutely perfect. You nursed right before take off then I popped a pacifier in your mouth and you slept for the entire flight. Then, we had to change planes and you woke up, but nursed again on the next flight and slept almost the entire next flight as well. When you weren't sleeping you were looking out the window fascinated by all that you saw. You never got nervous or scared or fussy. Your father jokes that you're already a better flier than he is and, well, it is true. Coming back was more of the same, but you were a bit more squirmy on the last flight home. Didn't sleep at all, but also didn't cry.

These new developments in your personality are so fun to see. I feel like you are becoming a lot more secure and that makes me feel so happy for you.

Love Always,
Mama

Happy 98th Birthday, Pop!

2008-10-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

Milo and I will be flying to Montana at the end of the week to celebrate with him in person, but today's the actual day. October 21, 1910. I love you, Pop.

Yes We Carve!

2008-10-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

http://yeswecarve.com/
(thanks, husband!)

Obama Mama.

2008-10-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I wanted to get these t-shirts printed up and sell them and give the funds to the Obama campaign, but with the election less than a month away I'm afraid I've missed the boat. Not enough time to print and market, etc. Wish I would've gotten my act together a little sooner, I'll just give a donation instead. Thought I'd share my little design anyway.

p.s. Check if you're registered to vote here: http://www.voteforchange.com/
Oregon's deadline is October 14!

Nine Months.

2008-09-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You are now 9-months old. In our old way of counting things you are 36-weeks old which means in a couple of weeks you will have been living outside of my belly for the same amount of time that you were living inside. Crazy. You are getting so big! I'm really glad you're not in my belly anymore, it would be pretty uncomfortable. At your check-up last week you weighed 17 lb. 14 oz. and were 28-1/2" long. Time to get you a new car seat!

The biggest development this month is you have mastered crawling. You are all over the place these days! It's funny how one of the first things you did was head towards the outlets. Not sure why those things draw babies to them like moths to a flame, but they sure do. Good thing we got those covers on finally. You also see every piece of dog hair, carpet fuzz, dirt on the floor as a potential snack...whether it looks like an actual Cheerio or not, you'd like to try it. Constant vigilance is required on my part, as well as frequent Swiffering.

You are funny when you're about to do something you know you're not supposed to do. You kind of look to us with a little, hopeful smile on your face as you slowly reach toward whatever harmful thing you want to get your hands on. We reply with a firm "no" or "not for Milo" and you consider whether you're going to listen this time or not. Sometimes you will remove your hands and shake your head back and forth, affirming that you heard us then two seconds later go back to whatever you were doing before. It's so funny to watch you start to understand us and yet still push the boundaries. I know (from your brother) that this will be something you will be doing for years and years to come.

This month we have started a baby sign language class. We have been trying to be consistent about signing with you and the class has been helpful to give us some tips on incorporating signing into everyday life. This past week you picked up your first sign! It is "light". I was feeding you in your highchair and you just looked up at the dining room light and did the sign for it. I was so proud. You now show me where all the lights are everywhere we go. It's the cutest thing ever. I love getting a little glimpse into what your thinking about or noticing.

Something I have noticed about you is you don't do anything until you're sure you've got it nailed. You practice a bunch, but you are very cautious. I really appreciate this about you. I think back all the way to my labor and think that was the first example of this. We practiced those painful contractions for over a month before you said okay, I think we can do this. This means once you do something like sitting up or crawling there is very little adjustment period. You are just doing it. You don't fall down a bunch or hurt yourself, which is great. You have fallen a few times, but nothing too crazy. Right now you're into pulling up on things, but only if you make sure we're close by and you can hold onto our hands. The next few milestones are going to be big ones: standing on your own and walking. I hope you practice safely a bunch. It would just help my heart.

Lastly, um, can we talk about something? Now that you are 9-months old, I think it's time. Time for you to start sleeping through the night. I am not asking for anything crazy like 12 hours (though I would take it!), maybe just...5 or 6 in a row? Followed shortly thereafter by another 5 or 6? You have been waking up frequently throughout the night and finally around 2:00 or 3:00 you're done and you don't want to go back to sleep. Sometimes it takes as long as 2 hours to get you back down, at which point I usually give up and just bring you into bed with us. Your father and I are exhausted. I am sure it has something to do with your new motor skills, as each time you wake you are sitting up. I am almost positive you are not awake when you sit up. I imagine what you're feeling is similar to what one feels when they try to go to bed after a long day of skiing: your body is still swooping down the slopes, cutting through powder and swishing to stops at the bottom of the hill...or I guess in your case it's crawling all over the floor, pulling up on things and walking with big, lumbering steps. It's a hard feeling to go to bed with every night. When we talked to the pediatrician about this she confirmed that this is likely the cause, along with maybe some reflux issues still. So we upped your reflux medication and that seems to be helping a little bit. But the pediatrician said the "ski body" will likely occur at each big motor skill milestone. She said even 4-year olds who have just learned to skip experience something similar. I can only hope it's not on the same scale though. You've got to get used to it at some point, right? Anyway, it's just something to consider. The sleep. Your father and I would very much appreciate it.

Love Always,
Mama

I Love Fall.

2008-09-23T14:00:00.001-07:00

The crisp feeling in the air.

Snuggling for warmth.

The smell of the heat coming on for the first time.

Pumpkin flavored treats.

The colors on the trees.

The amazing light in the afternoon/evening.

New boots and jackets.

The promise of good T.V.

Oh yeah...

2008-09-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

By the way, Internet? Milo's crawling.

Behold:

He actually started about a week and a half ago. Conveniently, it happened right before we both came down with horrendous colds. Instead of laying on the couch watching television and eating chicken noodle soup like I wished for, I was chasing my newly crawling baby around our not-so-baby-proofed house. The cold did not stop him from wanting to perfect his skill.

He usually uses one leg as a propeller of sorts, probably because our floors are so slippery. Also probably because he'd really like to stand up on those feet and walk. It seems like it won't be too far in our future.

Mason: update.

2008-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who kept little Mason in their thoughts these past few days. The surgery was a success and the prognosis is very good. He's recovering beautifully and may be home as soon as tomorrow. He's still got a lot of healing to do, but he is well on his way.

Since Milo and I ended up coming down with horrible colds and weren't able to be there in Seattle with my family we have been receiving frequent updates. Earlier today we did a Skype video call with everyone and got to see Mason's sweet face and talk to him. What a trooper he is! Thanks again for your thoughts and well wishes.

Mason.

2008-09-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

When I called my brother to tell him I was pregnant, our phone conversation went something like this:

"Hey! I've got some news for you… you're going to be an uncle!"

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Huh, that's funny, I was going to call you to tell you you're going to be an aunt."

Our babies ended up being born 6 days apart. Mason on December 21 and Milo on December 27.

About a month after Mason was born he was diagnosed with a condition called Craniosynostosis. His suture in the front of his head (or the metopic suture) fused prematurely, which doesn't allow the room his brain needs to grow. Up until now he has been developing beautifully and hasn't been in any pain due to his condition.

We knew all along that he was going to need surgery at around 9 months to correct the issue to allow for his growing brain to have room. This surgery is on Friday. I have known it was coming and have been reading up on things to educate myself. As his aunt, I know that this is a rather routine surgery with a very high success rate, but I just am so anxious about it. It's still very major surgery. I can only imagine what my brother and his girlfriend must be going through right now. My whole family is descending on Seattle where the surgery is taking place, just to be there. There's really not much we can do, but we all feel the need to be there.

If you could, please keep little Mason in your thoughts over these next few days. I know he will be just fine, he has such a wonderful little spirit. I'm sure he's going to be back to his silly self in no time.

Eight Months.

2008-08-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

Today you turned eight-months old. Last night I could hear you moving around in your crib, ready for your middle of the night feeding and when I went in to get you, you were SITTING UP in your crib. Just hanging out babbling, holding Douglas the monkey waiting for me to come feed you. This sent my heart into my throat because your father and I had yet to drop your crib down a level, so your head was actually above where the railing reaches to. Luckily, you were still inside safe and sound, but that crib got dropped down tonight.

There have been a lot of moments like that this month. Moments that have sent my heart into my throat, tears to my eyes and butterflies to my stomach. Not because I am scared for you, but because you are just changing SO fast. Like if I blink I might miss something. There is no way I can include all that has happened in this past month, because honestly? I probably can't remember it all. You've done things and then moved on to the next thing so quickly that I forget that you used to do something different. Like all that babbling you were doing? You're still doing it, except your voice has changed from a sweet little baby voice to that of a gruff, old man behind the counter of a liquor store. I don't know where you picked this up, but it's pretty hilarious.

You are a very good communicator. You let us know you want something by locking your vision onto whatever it is and making the sweetest little...grunt? coo? Not sure what to call it, but it's mighty effective. You do this a lot when the animals walk into the room, you love them. Or when you see one of your favorite toys or books. You have also picked up a fascination for all things with wheels. You want to play with trucks, cars, pull-along-dogs, anything you can spin wheels on and push around the floor. This has put you firmly in my mind as a boy. Not that there was any question before, this just feels like you are putting your foot down and claiming your boyness for all the world to see.

The fascination with things that go probably comes with your frustration at wanting yourself to go. You are right on the verge of crawling. You have all the pieces down: your hands do the walking, you go from sitting onto your hands and knees, you rock back-and-forth, you scoot on your bottom, you spin around on your belly and you can move…you're just missing the part that links it all together and equals crawling. I see the frustration build up in your eyes as I place toys just out of your reach to get you to move to them. So, I demonstrate crawling for you. I try to get your body into the right position for you, but ultimately I know you need to figure it out for yourself.

This is something I've been working on and struggling with…when to just let you figure it out on your own. As your mother I hate to see you so frustrated and I want to learn Power Point and give you a detailed analysis presentation on crawling and how best to do it and the benefits and body mechanics, etc. but I know I need to stop, take a step back and just let you figure it out on your own. Even if that means some tears of frustration or even falling down a few times. You did fall down today. Hard. I scooped you up and hugged you until you stopped crying, but then I put you right back down and you went right back to it. I know it will all click soon. Very soon. And I will be so proud, just as I already am.

Love Always,
Mama

Crib'd.

2008-08-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

One last look of our growing boy in his crib before we dropped it down.

Way back when:

A little more recent:

Today, during a nap:

and upon waking:

Seven Months.

2008-08-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You are now seven-months old. You have been for about three weeks…okay now it's four. I actually wrote your letter a few weeks ago, but never got around to putting it up here with the pictures. You've been keeping me busy! Now, things have changed of course since I wrote the letter. You have changed, but I will save all the new things for your next letter which I will be writing in the next week. So, without further ado, here's your long-overdue letter.

I don't know what it is about seven, but it just seems so old to me! I know that number's just going to keep getting bigger and older, but it still amazes me. You are still a wonderfully, squishy baby boy, but each day as you gain new skills and refine them I see just how fast you are growing up. The other day I forced you to look at pictures of the day you were born with me…my how you have changed. But, that's what you're supposed to do right? Grow and change. Well, you're doing a very good job.

This month was my 30th birthday. Your father put together a nice little shindig for me which he almost didn't make it to. You see, you've developed a bit of stranger anxiety and really didn't want to be left alone with the babysitter. You pitched a pretty good fit, but your dad was finally able to leave and attend the party. Once you realized he was gone you were pretty unhappy again. All in all your dad was gone maybe 2-1/2 hours and you probably cried for 2 of them. We feel awful about this. You don't ever cry unless something is really making you unhappy, so it's especially heartbreaking to know you are in such distress. Even though we know you are in good hands and will be totally fine, you don't. I wish I knew how to make you feel more secure when we're not around. I know it will likely come with time, age and repetition, but I don't want you to feel scared for a minute. Also? Your dad and I could use a date. We're going to work on finding the right person for you to spend time with so that you will feel comfortable and we can get away for a little bit. We love being around you, but the whole reason you're here is that we love being around each other too, we miss that a little bit.

This month you're personality is really coming through in your actions. You have been shaking your head "no" a lot. A. Lot. You do it when people are talking to you, when you're playing or when you're having your diaper changed. Your brother keeps asking you to be more positive and is trying to teach you to nod your head, but all you do is shake it back at him with a big grin on your face. It's pretty funny, but I hope it's not an attitude you will keep for too long.

You are also still totally into doing raspberries and you do them on cue and at appropriate times. Like when we're doing something you don't enjoy—such as suctioning your nose—you'll blow a big, wet raspberry and shake your head from side to side. You have also really gotten the hang of rolling over. You've been rolling over for quite some time now, but now you do it to reach a toy…or the cat. We can't leave you on the bed and leave the room and expect you to still be there when we return. I guess that means you're officially mobile. You have been experimenting with your voice lately as well. Mostly just babbling—blah blah da blah blah da blah, with a raspberry thrown in for good measure. You also enjoy talking to your toys. You've started whispering to them like you're telling them secrets. Probably your plans for world domination of cuteness.

We had a visit from your Grandpa Bob this month. This was the first time you got to meet him and you charmed him instantly. You were also immediately comfortable with him, which was nice to see. You must be able to sense family. It was really fun to see all the Helmer men together. You're all so different, yet so similar. Huh.

One of your biggest fans is your brother, and you feel the same about him. I can tell you two are going to have a very special relationship despite—or maybe because of—the years between you. There are times we can barely get a smile out of him, but you never fail. I suppose you have that effect on all of us. You have lit up our world, Milo.

Love Always,
Mama

Tired.

2008-08-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

Wow, I guess another week went by. I barely noticed. You see, I've been in a tired fog due to the fact that I can't seem to tear myself away from the Olympics. Well, luckily the events I have been obsessively following are now over and I can start going to bed at a regular time. For the past week I've been staying up until 1 or so watching amazingness unfold on my television and just when I'm ready to pack it in full of happy visions of athletic prowess, you-know-who decides he should wake up and need me to feed him. Oh, and then he'd like to not go back to bed until I've sung him the same two songs a frillion times and patted his back for an hour. Seriously? The timing! So yeah, I've been a little out of it. But, that's all going to change! Now! Going to bed!

Long Week, WA

2008-08-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

Hello, internet! I am fresh back from a week-long family vacation on the Washington Coast. Long Beach, to be exact. I had grand ideas of posting some stuff while I was there, but we didn't have cell phone reception, let alone internet. So, here I am. Now, I am off to do a million-bajillion loads of laundry. Just discovered the cat peed on the suitcase before it could get unpacked. That was her way of saying, "Welcome home! I hate you for leaving me here all alone." I will post more about the trip soon.

A Visit With Oliver.

2008-07-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Too cute for words.

Angelfish: The Pictorial.

2008-07-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

The last day of swim class was last Friday. It was not ideal swimming weather. It was overcast and a bit chilly. But, we were lucky enough to have Brody join us to take some photographs, so there was no way we were going to miss it.

When we arrived, they had set out lifejackets for the babies to wear so they could get the sensation of floating on their back. Most of the kids didn't like it too much, but Milo loved it!

He was completely chill the whole time. We went all around the pool this way with me making motorboat sounds with my mouth. He actually almost fell asleep a few times! I think he will totally dig the Lazy River feature at water parks.

After a while Milo grew tired of the lifejacket and we ventured over to talk to Grace, his girlfriend. Milo tried to play it pretty cool, but I know he's going to miss her.

Milo started to be done with swim class about five minutes before it was over. Here we are with Dominik and Lisa after class.

And finally, here's Milo with his certificate of completion. He didn't make it out if the Angelfish level, but I'm not surprised he was the youngest by three months. I'm thinking of signing us up for another two weeks at the end of August. A nice way to end the summer, no?

Huh?

2008-07-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

Um hi, Internet. It's been a while (she says sheepishly, avoiding eye contact). I've been thirty for two weeks now and I can tell you that time definitely speeds up in your thirties. Or something like that. I don't even know what I've been so busy with, but I feel like I haven't had any time! Somehow all my days are just sucked up and by the end I have no energy to form sentences, let alone write them on the internet.

I just realized I haven't even had a chance to tell you about my fabulous birthday party! Luckily, Jessica did a re-cap on her site which you can read here. It was such a fun party and I give major props to my wonderful husband and BFFs Evie and Jessica for planning the perfect day for me. I had the best time celebrating and received my first hangover in over a year. Mission accomplished I would say.

Since then Milo and I wrapped up swim classes last week, Erik participated in Sand in the City with his office (and won second place!), Erik's dad came to visit and there's just been general chaos. But not really chaos. I don't know how to describe it, but I just feel like the days are seriously flying by me. I must just be getting old. Or I'm busy. Or something.

It really feels like with each passing year time speeds up. I remember when I was younger and the summers seemed to last FOREVER. Now it feels like they are over in the blink of an eye. I wonder what this phenomenon is, maybe it's just as we get older and have more responsibility our days are just full of doing things and therefore go by faster. That seems like a boring answer though. I'd rather it was something more cool like a space-time-continuum-sciencey thing. Is that cooler? I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Maybe I should go back to my hole.

Angelfish.

2008-07-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

For the past week every morning Milo and I have woken up, slathered on some sunscreen and headed to our local pool for his first swim class. It's a lot of work to get us both ready and out the door on time for a half-hour class in the pool. First I get myself dressed in my swimsuit, put on my sunscreen, put on a cover-up and flip flops then move on to the boy. He gets sunscreen, then a swim diaper, then his trunks and little wet-suit top. I grab some water for us and a towel and we're off! Oh yeah, I need to remember to eat breakfast and drink a caffeinated beverage too so I don't have a melt down. Oh, and also feed him so he doesn't have one.

Some days we meet up with his friend Dominik who lives down the street from us and about 4 blocks from the pool and we all walk together, most days we just drive. Once we arrive we have to rinse off in the shower in the locker room (not Milo's favorite part) then we're ready for our lesson.

Our lesson consists of us singing the "Grand Old Duke of York" and another song, usually the "Hokey Pokey" (with splashes! kicks! and bubbles! being the things you put in and out before you turn yourself around). After the songs the teacher gives some pointers on working on kicks and things with the babies, but really we just try to make the water as fun as possible for the babes.

Milo's usually ready for a nursing and a nap about 10 minutes before swim class is over, so we really only get about 20 minutes in there, which is fine. The classes age range is from 6-18 months. He is the youngest at 6. There are a couple 9-month olds, but most are over 12. I'm just glad he lets us get in the water at all.

On the first day of class he made a girlfriend. Her name is Grace and she is a beauty and a bit of a cougar at 9-months old. They held hands and splashed each other and made puppy dog eyes at one another. It melts my heart.

Even though it's such a production getting us out of the house and making sure that we have everything together each day, I am so glad we did this. This is the first time it's really felt like summer to me in a long time. The smell of sunscreen on Milo's skin, the sting of chlorine in my eyes well into the day, the kiss of sun on my shoulders and wearing a bathing suit through lunch. Those are all things that just scream summer to me. I can't remember the last time I was in a pool on a regular basis during the summer.

While growing up I lived right across the street from a pool. I would spend every day over there that I could. All day. I can't tell you how many third-degree burns I suffered trying to "tan" like the blonde girls that surrounded me. The days spent at that pool are some of the best memories I had during that time in my life. Some of the most visceral at least.

I hope that Milo and I continue to go to summer swim lessons for many years to come. And I hope that he will have many happy memories from our times spent at the pool. I love that I get to get in the water with him now for his lessons, but also look forward to when he's the age where he goes in on his own and I sit on a lawn chair and read People magazine in the sunshine, smiling and waving every now and again. And I'm sure when that time comes I'll see some young mother looking frazzled getting her baby out of the pool 10-minutes early to nurse on the sidelines.

Random Childhood Memory.

2008-07-13T22:13:00.001-07:00

Going to the local bakery and picking out a sugar cookie with bright, yellow icing and a black smiley face. Taking it home in it's special waxy bag. The cookie so perfectly soft and chewy and the icing crackling in my mouth just so. Wondering why the smiley face continued to smile as I ate away at him. Hoping I wasn't hurting him.

Expiration Date.

2008-07-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite birthday card I received last year:

It expires tomorrow.

Help us decorate?

2008-07-07T20:38:00.001-07:00

We're looking for a piece of furniture to go in our front entry room in front of the fireplace. It is a space that has been ever changing since we moved in, it's a hard space to know what to do with. We did have a chaise we liked in there, but we just recently moved that into the family room as part of a sectional. So, the search begins... again.

Here's a picture of the room (complete with Trader Joe's bags). What's missing from this photo is a large window to the left of the front door and the fireplace which is black and flanked by built-in bookshelves which are white, just so you can get the color scheme, etc.

Here are some things I've found so far:

Klippan Loveseat
The price is right. It might be a little bit boring, but this is actually a really comfy couch.

Milo Sofa
I'm torn between the two fabrics. This one's expensive, but so pretty and with a name like that? Well, come on.

Antoinette Fainting Couch
Love the look of this, the fabric, the price, everything. What I don't like is that I can't try it before I buy it. I don't know what the dimensions refer to. It might be a little short? Or is the height dimension in reference to the lower curve??

Another thought is to do a couple of comfy chairs. Hmmm…

Dolce Chair

Cotton Candy Slipper Chair

I'm not sure why I'm feeling the chairs without arms… but I guess I am. If you have any thoughts or suggestions please send them my way!

Six Months.

2008-06-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

Here you are. Half-a-year old. Oh my. Probably when you are older I will ask you if you'd like to have a half-birthday celebration since your birthday falls so close to Christmas. But, for now we'll just take down all the Christmas decorations the day after and put up the birthday piñata. But I am getting way ahead of myself. That's not for another six months! For now, we're going to celebrate the fact that you've made it through half a year, and the amazing boy you've become.

This month we have watched you become much more engaged with things and you have had some pretty big milestones which I already wrote about. Only a week ago you learned to sit up on your own, now it is like second nature to you. It's all you want to do, reclining is out of the question unless you're sleeping.

Speaking of sleeping, we have started napping together. I am not proud of it. It is something I have tried to avoid so that you would learn to sleep independently, blah, blah, blah. But, you hooked me. It started when you weren't feeling well. None of us were getting much sleep at night and then you were having a hard time napping during the day. You wouldn't settle down unless you were in my arms. Then one day I was so tired, I figured why not nap WITH you. I could still have you in my arms and BONUS we both get sleep! Well, after two of the most cuddly-deliciously-sleep-filled hours of my life I was hooked. It's like a drug, I just want more. I know it's not right, but it just feels so good (until you accidentally wallop me in the eye with a rogue arm). Anyway, this napping? It will have to come to an end soon. You must learn to sleep on your own so that we can all start sleeping through the night. But maybe just one more nap first...

You have started giving hugs this month...and possibly kisses, but those are more like an open-mouthed-slobbery-gumming of the nose. But the hugs? They are so sweet. You grab our shoulders and bury your face into our necks and SQUEEZE! Sometimes it's when you are being shy, sometimes when you are happy and sometimes just because. Every time it is wonderful.

Another sweet thing you've started doing is playing with my hair. You'll be in my arms and look up and very gently start running your fingers through my hair. I imagine you to be pondering it's shine, curl and color... maybe you're wondering what kind of shampoo I use or when your hair's going to be long enough to run your fingers through and style. And then, without warning, you grab a big chunk and yank it towards your mouth. I try and tell you ouchie that hurts mama and you go back to the loving strokes, but then the yanking follows. We go back and forth like this for a little while, until I get tired of it and distract you with something else. You treat the animals the same way. You'll be lovingly petting them, then all of the sudden you want them in your mouth so you grab a chunk of fur yank it towards your wet, slobbery, wide-open mouth with a big, toothless grin. I know it's all out of love, but you're going to have to figure out another way to show it. One day I'm sure you'll realize that fur and hair don't taste that great—in fact I'm gagging right now—but until then, I'll have to keep a close eye on you.

You are totally into raspberries now too. No, not the lovely summer berry, the kind you do with your mouth. You have found a way to do them so your bottom lip is completely tucked into your mouth. It's especially entertaining when you do them when you're eating your baby food. You send peas flying in all directions. Last night it was very warm here so we let you eat shirtless at the dinner table. By the end of the meal your entire round belly was covered with splattered peas, prunes and drool. You are a real piece of work, kid.

You constantly have to have something in your mouth. If it's not your hand it's your foot, if it's not your foot it's a toy, if it's not a toy it's my hand, if it's not my hand it's your dad's head and so on. If we are changing you and you have to part for a moment with one of these items you start to whine and ramp up to a freak out. When you are finally able to get whatever it is back in your mouth you look at us like we're crazy for making you consider not having something to chew on. You are also a constant source of drool, and have been for quite some time. I think someone should find a way to turn baby drool into an alternative fuel source. There. World problems solved. We think you're teething, but it feels like you've been teething for a very long time. At press time you still haven't had any teeth break through. I kind of feel like you're just going to wake up one day and grin at me with a mouth full of teeth. But I hope that doesn't happen, it would be really creepy.

Every day is such an adventure with you and each day (hour?) brings something new. I think I am going to have a hard time knowing what to focus on in these letters. It is all happening so fast. It seems like just days ago that we were wondering if you were really smiling at us or if you were passing gas, now you greet us with the most heart melting smile known to man and I can't imagine there ever being a question. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Love Always,
Mama

Eating: The Video.

2008-06-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Milostones.

2008-06-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day in the Helmer household. Milo grew up today. At least that's what it felt like. He sat on his own, unassisted for a long time today, multiple times. He had his first taste of real food. And he splashed in the bathtub.

The day started out with me testing Milo's sitting abilities on our bed (soft landing). He did great, sitting for multiple minutes on his own, recovering from the wobbles with putting his hands down. He kept doing this throughout the day, getting better and better each time. We even moved to a blanket on the rug and he played with toys while sitting in his own. He still can't look up, that'll throw his balance right off and I wouldn't leave him to sit alone on a concrete slab yet, but he's doing great! It's so funny to see him sitting up by himself, just being his own little guy.

After Papa got home from work we gave Milo his first taste of baby food, sweet potatoes to be exact. We had his six-month appointment yesterday and we got the go ahead to start solids immediately. In fact, the doctor thought it might actually help with his reflux. So we broke out one of the jars of baby food that we've been hanging onto for over a month in anticipation for this day. Milo did really great and made many adorable faces. He ate probably three or four spoonfuls before deciding he was done. Not bad! Some of it even got in his mouth. Well, most of it.

After we ate our dinner, it was bath time. Milo's always done well in the tub, but usually it's strictly business. He gets in, we wash, he gets out. Yesterday as soon as his butt hit the water he looked down, brought both his arms over his head an then slammed them down in the water, sending it flying all about. He thought that was pretty cool so he kept doing it over and over. It was very serious work for him though, no laughing or squealing just lots of splashes. I'm sure the joy of it will come soon, he's just got to figure out how it all works first.

Soiree.

2008-06-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Erik, Milo and I attended an event called the Sitter Soiree. I went into it thinking it was like speed dating with potential babysitters. I thought it sounded kind of fun and knew we could definitely benefit from a babysitter or two, so away to the Soiree we went.

The setting was a preschool in a house very close to ours (looked like a fun place). We walked in and were handed a binder and a waiver to sign. The binder contained the names of all the sitters at the event, along with phone numbers, a short bio and rates. The waiver stated that we would not hold Sitter Soiree responsible for a crappy sitter (not in so many words), that we understood we have to perform our own background check and that we would not share the information in the binder with anyone. We signed the waiver, took our binder then looked at each other like Now What?

We decided to find a place to sit down and chat for minute. We realized we didn't prep for the event very well (or at all), we had no idea what we were looking for, what our criteria was or really when we even planned on having a sitter. All we really knew was we'd like to have a date every now and again. So we sat down, opened up our binder and perused our choices. I was really glad we did that, we only found two sitters we actually wanted to talk to (out of about fifteen). Our criteria was: had to work in our area, work with babies (some only did two-years old and up) and couldn't give us a weird vibe based on looks alone (shallow? maybe.). So we set off in search of our two finalists.

The event was held in various rooms of the house, as well as outside, so things were a bit spread out. There were also a bunch of vendors at every turn. The sitters were mingling about and always seemed to be involved in conversation. It took a lot of awkward shuffling around before we finally found one of the sitters we liked. When we did she was already talking to another family. We hovered near by until the other family left and then pounced like the vultures that we are. Again, we were kind of at a loss of what to say. We found out she just started school to become a midwife and has been a postpartum doula for a while (cha-ching!). She was very nice but also very quiet (could be she felt as awkward about the event as we did).

After we got done talking with her, we milled around a little more and visited some vendors. One vendor tried to get Erik to buy me a necklace that doubles as a teething ring, he politely declined. Thankfully. I don't know, something about a piece of jewelry that is bought for the soul purpose of my kid to suck on it and get it all slobbery just kind of weirds me out. Maybe it's just me? But I digress.

After wandering aimlessly back and forth through this party we finally decided to leave. On our way out the door, we finally saw the other gal we were interested in she was really sweet. Didn't have too much experience with young babies (mostly three and up) but we liked her personality a lot.

If we do decide to call either of them we'll invite them over during the day to hang out while I'm here. I could get some work done and monitor things a bit. I'm sure they'll be totally great, but Milo's been having stranger danger anxiety lately, so it might help to stick close for a while until he gets used to them.

All in all, the event cost us $45, which I'm little bitter about. I think they should make the vendors and the babysitters pay, since we're the ones being marketed to. I also wish they would've made it a little less socially awkward. Maybe we were just being anti-social or something but it was a little weird. I would've also loved a little list of good questions to ask or something like that.

I'm not sure I would recommend this event to any of my friends. It might be good for someone looking for a nanny, full or part-time. Other than that, I kind of felt like it was a waste of my money and wish I would've just hit up my friends a little harder for names of sitters they already know and like (and would be willing to share). Oh well, live and learn. I'm glad we at least checked it out and now have two potential sitters in a pinch.

My Mosaic.

2008-06-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

Another inspiration from Snack.

Here's what I did (via Snack):

FIRST
Type your answer to each question below into Flickr search.

THEN
Using only the first page results, pick an image.

FINALLY
Copy and paste each of the image URLs into here.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your Flickr name?

My answers:
1. Mindy
2. Sushi
3. Judge Memorial Catholic High School
4. Aqua
5. George Clooney
6. Kir Royale
7. Thailand
8. Ice cream
9. Crafty
10. Family
11. Mama
12. Min_d

Photo creds:
1. Mindy!
2. temari sushi
3. .hut hut.
4. Aqua...who can resist?
5. George Clooney wishes he was this cute!
6. bubbly
7. "Maldives of Thailand"
8. Flickr meltdown
9. Crafty Bastards 2007
10. The Finger Family
11. Little Su makes claim to being the cutest panda girl ever.
12. ☜♥☞ R o C k - T h a t - R o s e ☜♥☞

Hours of fun whilst holding a sick, sleeping baby. Thanks, Jess!

Things I can eat.

2008-06-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

I've become rather food-obsessed lately. I guess that's what cutting out 2/3 of everything you used to eat will do to you. Because the list of things I can't eat is increasing exponentially, I thought I'd share some of the things that I CAN still eat that I have discovered recently and which bring me joy.

Rice Dream Milk
As far as a milk substitute goes this is about as good as I'm going to get. I favor the Vanilla flavor. Rice Dream is not quite creamy enough to stand up to my strong cups of coffee, so I've been drinking tea lately. I did just find a new flavor of Rice Dream, however, which I used in coffee this morning. It is Rice Dream Supreme Vanilla Hazelnut flavor. Pretty good, though it's no CoffeeMate.

Sunflower Seed Butter
I used to be a Jif girl, but thanks to soybean oil I had to change my ways. Luckily, I found Trader Joes Sunflower Seed Butter (just couldn't find a picture). It is so delicious. I might even like it better than peanut butter. I've tried natural peanut butter before, but was always disappointed. The texture was never right and the taste was cardboardy. Same with Almond Butter, not salty enough for my unrefined tastebuds. I did just find a natural peanut butter that I used in some peanut butter cookies which pleased me though. It's Woodstock Farms Smooth and Salted Organic Peanut Butter. It was pretty good, though there was a lot of oil on top to be stirred in which is messy and annoys me.

Coconut Bliss
This is my new favorite thing. It is ice cream made from coconut milk instead of cow's milk. Brilliant! It is SO delicious and creamy and might even be better than regular ice cream. I have had the Dark Chocolate and Mint Galactica. They are both delicious. These people are from Eugene and I feel like I owe them my sanity.

Five Months.

2008-05-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

Tomorrow you turn five months old. This past month may go down as one of our most challenging yet. Though, I'm probably just forgetting what it was really like in the beginning. I was so tired, nursing every two hours or more and struggling trying to figure everything out. Yes, that was challenging, but it was all so new and so I was running on a lot of adrenaline. Then things fell into a routine, got more predictable and I got used to that. We still had our challenges, but for the most part our routine made things run pretty smoothly.

This month, that routine was shattered into a billion fragments so small they were undetectable to the naked eye. It sent my head spinning off my body. I found myself asking, "What happened? Did I do something wrong?" As it turns out, it was just a combination of a lot of things. The main thing being that you weren't feeling good for what felt like the entire month. We went to the doctor three times in the last four weeks. I think they're getting tired of me (but are, of course, completely charmed by you). What's been going on with you is a range of tummy issues, including acid reflux and teething on top of that, throw in some growth spurts and milestones and you've got the recipe for a crazy month!

Because of all this you were very cranky and not at all like your usual easy-going, happy, smiley self. For almost a week straight you were waking up at least four times a night with an ear-piercing scream and could not be comforted to go back to sleep. This really put your dad and I on edge. Mostly we were just worried by what you must be feeling to react in such an awful way. Once we would finally get you calmed down and back to sleep, the second we laid you down in your crib your eyes would shoot open and the screaming would resume. Because of this you ended up sleeping with us most nights. Your naps also went down the drain. You would only sleep if I would nurse you to sleep and then hold you for the duration of your nap (something I've tried to avoid so you would learn to sleep on your own, but I just wanted you to get some sleep). If I tried to lay you down or move you, your eyes would again do the shooting open and the screaming would happen too. So, I didn't get much done, but I did get to snuggle with you a lot, which was wonderful.

The good news in all of this is that you are continuing to thrive. At our last doctor's appointment you weighed 15 pounds! You are getting so big and just want to do big kid stuff. You are completely infatuated with your big brother, especially when he plays Nerf basketball. Sometimes he brings you the ball and then shoots for you. You love this and I see many a Helmer Nerf B-ball Tournaments in our future.

You are very curious about eating grown up food. You constantly ask for sips of water (by grabbing the glass and shoving it into your mouth) and anytime we are eating you just stare at us and sometimes smack your lips along with our chewing. I would love to start feeding you solids, but with your tummy issues we are going to hold of for at least another month.

The doctor has determined that your tummy issues are coming from sensitivity to foods I am eating. At first she had me cut dairy out of my diet, which I did. It was so hard for me in the beginning, but then I got in the swing of things. But you didn't seem to be feeling any better, then you got worse and we went back to the doctor. That's when she told me that about 30% of babies with sensitivity to dairy are also sensitive to soy. At that point I was eating a TON of soy to compensate for the lack of dairy. So, I cut soy out as well. After about a week of this new diet you started showing some improvements. You started sleeping for longer bits of time, taking naps again that were longer than a half hour and sleeping on your own. Best of all, the screaming has stopped and the smiling and laughing has resumed. You are yourself again and it is so good to have you back. I am glad you are no longer in pain that makes you scream. I would do anything to never have to see you like that again.

As for me, I am finding that there isn't a lot of food out there that doesn't have dairy or soy in it. I am having to read the ingredients list on food that I eat for the first time. It's probably a good thing, but it's been and will continue to be a very big challenge for me. As your mom it is my responsibility to make sure that you are okay and if that means depriving myself of so many foods that I love, that is nothing compared to seeing you happy. Your smile makes every missed milkshake and cheesy pasta dish seem like just a drop in a bucket.

This month we also celebrated my first Mother's Day. Your Grandpa Bill and Grandma Carol joined us for a few days to celebrate and it was so wonderful. Thank you so much for making me a mom, Milo. I really can't imagine anything more perfect.

Love Always,
Mama

I Miss You, Cheese.

2008-05-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

I was watching an episode of LA Ink a while back and it featured a dude who wanted to get a memorial tattoo for cheese. He loved cheese and had recently become lactose intolerant and therefore wanted to memorialize his dear friend, Cheese, on his body.

I totally get him. Milo's been having some stomach issues lately (reflux) and his doctor said that sometimes dairy in a mother's diet can affect the baby in a negative way. So she suggested I try stopping dairy for a week to see if it is helpful at all. It is an all or nothing thing. One little bit of dairy is the same as having a milkshake for every meal (at least for the baby).

It's been three days and I am going CRAZY. I am a total dairy girl. I love anything that has to do with dairy. I love a nice, cold glass of milk with a meal, cheese on everything, yogurt, ice cream, milkshakes, pretty much anything with dairy I am down with. I don't know how I am going to make it a week (and if it helps—god forbid—for another 2-6 months after that). Yesterday I ate some pancakes that Brody made for breakfast and it wasn't until later that night that he told me there was cream and milk in them, putting me back at square one. Totally my responsibility to ask, but I would've liked to at least enjoy the dairy if I was going to cheat. I do hope that Milo feels better, I just hope it's not because I've stopped eating dairy. If that's the case, I might need to look into getting some new ink.

Four Months.

2008-04-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

You are continuing to develop at what seems like a staggering rate of speed, though I think you're probably right on track. This month it feels like you are changing by the minute and gaining new skill after new skill, it's pretty amazing to witness.

You are currently in a struggle with your body. You are ready to be doing some things that your body hasn't fully grasped yet and it makes you a little frustrated. You are no longer content to just recline, you want to sit up! We have found you hunched over in your swing after a nap in an attempt to launch your body into a sitting position. Thankfully, we've always used the little belt in there so you haven't launched yourself onto the floor. You also kick your legs like crazy. Most of the time when I get you out of your crib in the morning you have spun your body around and moved halfway around the crib. Also, when placed on your tummy you do a little inch worm impression. If I put my hands at your feet and give you something to push off of, you actually can cover some ground. Mobility doesn't seem too far in the future and it makes me a tad anxious. We've got a lot of work to do around here before this house is ready for you to be crawling all over it! So, slow down just a little, please.

You also have a major oral fixation right now. Anything you can get your hands on goes in your mouth. We think you might be in the early stages of teething. Yikes! Anytime something comes near your face you lunge at it with your mouth. You're like a little fish. A drooly, little fish. When you don't have something in your hands to shove in your mouth you just use your fist. Your entire fist. You are hilarious.

One of my very favorite developments over the last month is that you are now laughing! No one can send you into a fit of giggles like your dad. He's got the peek-a-boo game down and your shrieks of joy and laughter can be heard throughout the house. It is the best sound in the world. I love that we are now able to laugh together, it's one of my very favorite things to do. You have definitely found your voice and if you don't like something you let us know. Immediately. Loudly. Without hesitation. I like that you know what you want and aren't afraid to let your wishes be known.

Gone are the days of you sleeping peacefully in the car seat while we eat at a restaurant or go shopping. You are now awake and aware, looking around and taking it all in. You like to be held now, facing out so that you can see everything. Feeding you has again become a task, you get distracted when you're eating and don't always take in a full meal, creating a snacking situation. Now, don't get me wrong. I love a snack as much as the next guy, but can we go back to the full meals for now, please?

This past weekend I was introduced to a friend's boyfriend and she said, "this is Milo's mom." Evidently she has your birth announcement on her fridge so he knew you before he knew me. It made my heart do flip flops and swell with pride. It was my first time being introduced as your mom and it couldn't have felt better.

Love Always,
Mama

Video.

2008-04-25T15:26:00.001-07:00

Here's a little something Erik put together of some of the video we've shot of Milo. It's kind of crazy how much he has grown since even this was shot. There's more where this came from. Much more.

Mmmm, cake.

2008-04-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I picked Brody up at school when he got out at 2. Erik had to make a trip to Seattle that day and didn't get home until around 8, so that left us with a lot of time together. I decided that we should do something that both of us love to do and that is bake. Brody had been asking to make carrot cake for a while, so that's what we made. I found an awesome recipe on Epicurious and thought I'd share our little creation, as well as the recipe with all of you. It's got a pound of carrots in it, so it's totally healthy! Bon appétit!

Beachy.

2008-04-23T13:43:00.001-07:00

Erik, Milo and I just got back from a trip to the coast to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary (the dogs got a mini-vacation at their friend Turks house. Thanks, EmMo!). We stayed at a lovely lodge in Canon Beach. The weather was less than ideal—it even snowed on our way there—but our room had a fireplace and view of the ocean, so it was okay to just stay inside, though we did make one quick venture out to the beach.

It was a wonderful little trip,less than 24 hours, but good to get away together and celebrate being married (it's fun!). We were definitely reminded on this trip of how much our life has change in the last two years. Instead of going out to dinner, as would have been our norm, we brought a fancy picnic to enjoy in our room: brie, baguette, sopressata and wine, etc. It was a lovely way to enjoy a good meal without having to worry about Milo in a restaurant. Then he pooped in the middle of our dining, just to make sure we weren't too relaxed. Nothing like changing a poopy diaper while eating brie. Ah, parenthood.

All in all, it was great to get some time with two of my very favorite people and I am so glad the weather wasn't like this two years ago!

I love you, Erik, happy anniversary. Thanks for doing this life thing with me, you make it a lot more fun.

Confession

2008-04-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

Milo's room has a window that looks out onto a fairly busy street. When cars without mufflers, loud motorcycles and convertibles with loud (usually horrible, Billy Ocean anyone?) music drive by late at night when he's sleeping I want to run out of my front door in my house slippers, bathrobe and curlers* and shake my fist at those people.

*Okay, maybe I don't have that exact attire on, but it helps with a visual of my crazy.

Woof?

2008-04-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

I have been asked recently what about the dogs? Do we still have dogs? Am I still walking dogs?

The answer is yes, we still have our dogs. They are doing great and have adjusted remarkably well to Milo. Lucy wants to be his mommy and is constantly sniffing him to make sure he's alright. If she could eat his breath, I think she would. Monty is more attached to me than ever. He is rarely not in the room I am and anytime I'm feeding Milo he is right there. I think he and Milo will be good buddies.

The answer to the dog walking question is no. I am not still walking dogs. It was this time last year that I officially started my business with much excitement in my heart and wind in my sails. At the time I had no idea I would be finding out I was pregnant just a month later. Had I known, I'm not sure what I would've done.

I am so grateful to have had the wonderful business I did. I had the best time walking dogs. I had magnificent clients and I was able to stay very active throughout my pregnancy (while still allowing for plenty of naps in the first trimester). It was really a dream job for pregnancy. As I got to the end of my pregnancy, clients began going away for one reason or another (they moved, their needs changed, etc.) and I didn't do anything to replace them with a new client. In the end I only had one client left, which I ended up giving to a fellow dog walker that I knew would take good care of her.

Now, I am getting all my renewal papers for my business and I have decided not to renew them. I feel good about my decision, but am sad to see such a fun business go away without having reached it's full potential. But! On the bright-side. I've got two of the BEST dogs at home who will now get all of my attention. And these dogs? They totally deserve it.

Three Months.

2008-03-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Milo,

Today you turn three months old. 13 weeks. 91 days. A quarter of a year. Wow. As I write this you are in your swing drifting off to your morning nap. Looking more like a little boy and less like a baby than you ever have. You are getting so big. You are growing out of all your 0-3 month clothes and have started in on the 3-6 month pile. Right on schedule. Which I think is almost unheard of, but much appreciated by your slightly OCD mama.

You are full of smiles and giggles these days. You are continuing your fascination with your hands, they end up in your mouth at every chance you get. Now instead of tentatively putting them in your mouth, you shove them in there with the force of a pro. You have taken to sucking on your whole fist instead of just trying for your thumb. I admire your tenacity. You are now beginning to realize those hands of yours are actually attached to your body and that you can control them. Your movements with them are still a bit jerky, but as the rest of the family was gathered around playing Scrabble on Easter, you were in your bouncy chair reaching out for the toys on your gym for the first time. You were talking about it a lot and squealing with glee at your power, making your toys swing back and forth. It is so fun to watch you furrow your brow with concentration as you look at the toy and begin to reach out only to giggle and smile when your goal of punching lion in the face is achieved. I imagine I will be witnessing this concentration and joy for years to come as you try for and achieve countless goals in life.

This month was a busy one full of visits with people we love. We started out with our trip to Seattle where we got some time with Cousin Lindsay and Scott, Auntie Jessica and Fae and your Grandma Kay. The following weekend Grandpa Bill and Grandma Carol came to visit and you also got to meet your Uncle Russ, Meghan and Cousin Mason! That was really fun to see you two babies together. You are so different, yet only six days apart.

The Tuesday after the family left, your dad had to go to San Francisco for a photo shoot. We were going to join him there for a few days, but you ended up coming down with a cold and I didn't want your first plane ride to be plagued by sore ears from a stuffy nose. Grandma Carol was going to come back and stay with us for a few days, but she ended up getting sick as well and had to stay home. In the end, you and I were on our own for eight whole days! It wasn't the easiest thing, but we survived. Once we were at the end of the eight days, I stopped to realize how special that time was. You and I did really well together and I think it just made us more of a unit than ever before. We were literally inseparable. When your dad returned you were very happy to see him, however you did make him pay by crying when he held you in front of his co-workers at the airport. After that little hiccup it was all good and he was your knight in shining armor again. I do appreciate that you made him pay that little bit for being gone for so long. He deserved to know how much we missed him.

Love Always,
Mama

Identity Crisis.

2008-03-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

When you have a baby people love to tell you which parent they think he or she looks like. I can totally understand this. Pretty much my whole life I have been fascinated by families and how they look alike or don't. This fascination is probably due to the fact that I am adopted and have never known anyone who looks like me. I am always interested by people who have been surrounded by people who look like them their whole life. I can't imagine how cool it must be to kind of know what you're going to look like at different stages in your life.

This is probably one of the main reasons I wanted to have a baby. I wanted to know what that felt like to look at someone who looks like me. Well, when people look at Milo, nine times out of ten they say, "Oh! He looks just like his dad!" It's kind of ironic and funny. Of course, I don't mind. I mean, I married Erik for a reason (and it wasn't his brains). I love that Milo looks like Erik because I think he sure is nice to look at. But here's the thing, as much as Milo looks like his dad, I think he actually looks a lot like me when I was a baby too! It has been our little secret. I just love that I have this connection and when I look at the baby pictures of me and see my little baby's face in mine I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it feels. I am not trying to be vain or anything, I am truly just fascinated by all of it. I love that Milo is a blend of both Erik and I (whether other people can see it or not doesn't really matter to me), but as Erik says, "Milo looks like Milo. And he is beautiful."

Baby Mindy

Baby Milo

One more baby pic of me, just for fun...

... I was not messing around with those chins!

Mr. Sniffles.

2008-03-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

Milo has his first cold. It started with some eye goopiness last Thursday and built up to full blown stuffy nose, mouth breathing, coughing, and crying on Sunday. He's starting to get better, but still has the stuffy nose and some eye sludge. With the exception of Sunday, he has been his wonderful self throughout all smiles and giggles and sleeping like a champ. It was Sunday that we both lost it a little bit. His discomfort absolutely broke my heart into a million pieces.

The one positive of this cold is that it has allowed me to play my new favorite game much more frequently, meet the Nose Bulb Syringe:

I liken the game we play to the crane game that you'll find at your local Denny's. You know, the one where you see all the little stuffed animals and fake jewelry and you go for the really easy one, yet somehow it is ungrabable (or they rig the crane so it can't pick anything up heavier than a feather, but I digress).

I can see the bats in the cave (a.k.a. boogies!), but they are always just out of reach. Then there are the times when I actually get them, or Milo will help out by sneezing and blowing them forward and I grab them that way. Man, does that feel good. There is [almost] nothing better than grabbing a big piece of snot, removing it from my child's nose and depositing it on a tissue. I think it must be the perfectionist in me that wants to clear every little bit I can so Milo has the best opportunity for a clear breath. Luckily, he puts up with me and we laugh and smile about all the snot we collect.

Weird? Yes. Gross? Maybe. Fun? Absolutely. Don't judge me.

Cousins!

2008-03-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

Milo finally met his cousin this weekend (and I met my nephew). My brother and his girlfriend had a baby six days before Milo was born and this weekend they were able to all come down and visit us. Here are Mason Jay and Milo Edison and their first meeting.

Mason and his Aunt Mindy.

Two Months.

2008-03-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

On Wednesday you turned two months old. It is now Sunday, I'm sorry this letter is a little bit late. I wanted to make sure we had some good pictures to include and we didn't get around to that until this weekend. On Friday, we took your first trip out of Portland. We went to Seattle and your papa and I got a night out on the town while you hung out with Auntie Lindsay and Scott in our hotel room. You did so well on this trip and we were very impressed with how adaptable you are. You made it through a 4-hour car ride (thanks, traffic!) and sleeping in a strange place with flying colors. You're ready for travel, look out world, here we come!

This month's theme has been all about routine. We are finally getting to where we can predict when you're going to be hungry and tired and we're beginning to really understand you. Though you do like to throw us off at times. Besides the routine of timing, we've got the breastfeeding routine down as well. I never knew how hard it was going to be to feed you, but it was. Just a few weeks ago, things started to click and we now are like old pros. We both had to work really hard to learn to do it right and I wanted to give up more times than I'd like to admit, but I'm glad we both persevered and made it happen.

You are growing like crazy. Where there were once little chicken legs, there are now rolls of skin and fat that need to get lifted up to be cleaned. And your cheeks? They are delicious pieces of flesh that I love to nibble on. We had your 8-week appointment last week and you weighed 10 lb. 13 oz., 4 pounds heavier than you were when you were born. The week prior we went to another appointment where you were weighed and you were 9 lb. 11 oz., which means you gained a pound in a week. Yeah, I'd definitely say we've got the eating thing down.

Your personality continues to blossom. You are fast to smile now and are absolutely engaging. You are still a very vocal boy but the constant grunting has been replaced with wonderful coos. The grunting is still there, but you save that mostly for moving stuff through your system. You are really interacting with us now and it is so fun to talk with you about things. We have important conversations about your Fish Friends on you mobile, what your poop looks like, boogers in your nose and other very pressing topics.

The thing you're working hardest on now is figuring out how to get your hand into your mouth. You aren't quite making the connection yet, but you're almost there. Sometimes you hit your eye, sometimes your cheek, but there rare moments when you actually make it to your mouth. These moments are greeted with vigorous sucking and slurping noises like you are making out with yourself. The other thing you need to work on is untucking your thumb from your fist. It doesn't work well now for sucking your thumb and later in life if you are ever put in the position of needing to defend yourself with a punch, you will break your thumb that way! I know you'll get it figured out soon enough and you'll be able to soothe yourself like crazy.

I feel like we are finally over the hump of being in constant survival mode and we are finally able to really enjoy life with you. We are so lucky, thank you for being so cool.

Love Always,
Mama

Makin' Hits

2008-02-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

Me: "I think I'm going to call my right boob Timbaland from now on."

Erik: "Uh, why?"

M: "Because it's my Super Producer. I get like twice as much milk from that one than the other."

E: "Oh, well in that case why not call it P. Titty or Kanye Breast?"

M: "Why must you always out pun me?"

Uh...grow much?

2008-02-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

Then:

Now:

Songs For The Children.

2008-02-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

Milo received a few books of nursery rhymes and lullabies that have the words to all our favorite songs that we once knew but have long since forgotten the words to. Thankfully a few of these books also came with cd's so we don't have to always offend his ears with our singing. As we were downloading them into iTunes so we could throw them on the iPod we noticed a few songs we don't really remember from when we were kids...or perhaps our parents were just sheltering us:

Ride A Cock Horse
Deep In The Bush
I Love Little Pussy

Seriously.

One Month.

2008-01-27T20:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Milo,

It's hard to believe, but today you turn one month old. I am taking a cue from one of my favorite writer/bloggers and attempting to write you a monthly letter. I think it's a great way for me to remember what's happened in the month and for you to have when you get older as a record of what happened in your life before you could remember things. I have never been that great at consistency so I hope I can keep this up, we'll see how it goes. I promise I will try my best to do this right for you.

This past month seems like it's been a lifetime, it's hard to imagine that you were ever not here. It's amazing how much you've grown already and it's so fun to see your little personality developing. You are starting to actually fit into the newborn sized clothes we have, which means you are definitely getting bigger. You are also starting to get little rolls of...fat? on your wrists and and multiple chins. So cute.

Last night you slept in your crib in your own room for the first time. This was necessitated by the fact that you are a very vocal boy and mommy and daddy would like some sleep, please. By vocal, I mean you grunt a lot. The grunting occurs not only when you're pooping (though it does occur then too), but when you're enjoying a good meal, or just hanging out. It is your way of communicating with us. We much prefer the grunting to the crying, which you also do, but not too often.

You are very expressive, not just with your voice but with your arms and hands. Many times during the grunting you will flail your arms about as if you are running for president and giving the most important speech of your life. Don't worry, we're listening.

You did very well for your first night in your own room. I woke up at 3:00am in a panic because we hadn't heard a peep from you. I ran to your room (or tiptoed) and peeked my head in. There you were sleeping like a little bundled angel. As I peeked in on you you gave a sigh of contentment, as if on cue. It made my heart do funny things. I was so proud that you were being so brave and independent and also, I missed you. You and I have been together, well, since you've existed. It's hard for me to be away from you for even short periods of time. It's very co-dependent of me and I am slowly getting "better" but I don't think I'll ever enjoy being without you.

You've also started smiling. Not a lot, but it's there. Your dad and I hold our breaths each time you do it because we don't want it to end. It's such a wonderful connection to have. We know that we will just get more and more from you each day and that is so exciting. Though we look forward to all the new things to come, everything you've already given us is more than we could have hoped for.

Love always,
Mama

It's not just gas...

2008-01-25T04:47:00.001-08:00

I Got Served.

2008-01-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

Today I was changing Milo's diaper and I took a little too long to wipe his bottom and he ended up peeing all over the cute outfit he was wearing. So, I took him upstairs and changed him into another cute outfit then held him while he slept for a while. When I went to take him back upstairs to prepare for a possible outing, I noticed my shirt was wet. I figured he had magically peed through another diaper (he has done this many times, and yes, I've been peed on many times). When I got upstairs to change him yet again, I found I was sorely mistaken. He had pooped out the side of his diaper this time. Through his pants and onto my shirt. Needless to say, the outing never happened.

You take the good, you take the bad...

2008-01-18T03:18:00.000-08:00

Things I miss about being pregnant:
- being the cute pregnant lady
- belly rubs (I would be absolutely mortified if someone were to touch my belly right now)
- my own agenda
- my doctor

Things I'm enjoying about not being pregnant:
- snuggling with Erik without a big belly in the way
- I.P. Freely (and not as frequently)
- Milo

3 Weeks.

2008-01-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

Well, we have survived three whole weeks with our new little man. They have been three very trying weeks filled with more love and less sleep than I could've imagined... and a lot of hard work.

To mark this day we had a trip to see the pediatrician, just to make sure Milo's still on track and gaining weight. We're in business! He weighed in at a whopping 7 lb. 5 oz. which means he gained 10 oz. in the last 9 days. Something must be working!

We also survived Papa's first trip away from home (with a lot of help from family and friends), he was gone 5 long days. Erik was able to go to San Francisco to see the fruition of the project that has consumed him at work for the past oh, nine months or so. You could say it's his other baby. It was a huge success and I am so glad he was able to go see it through to the end (we weren't sure he'd be able to with Milo's original due date), but he is never allowed to leave us again. We like having him here. Luckily, both Milo's Grandma's from my side (my mom and step-mom) were able to come and help out for a few days, so we were able to have solid Grandma back-up support for more than a week! It was fantastic.

So far there has been no schedule established that is acceptable in terms of sleeping and eating. We are doing the feeding "on demand" and to Milo that means he'd like to sleep a lot during the day and eat every two hours or so at night. Each feeding takes about 40 minutes, throw in a diaper change and a rocking back to sleep and you've got about an hours sleep in between. Awesome. We are working on trying to get into a better pattern, but it is hard, especially at such a young age. In the meantime, we are trying to catch naps during the day when he sleeps. We are also trying to workout a routine between the two of us that makes the most sense, especially since Erik will be going back to work soon. This means I am taking over all the nighttime feedings (since I need to be up to feed him anyway) and Erik takes him in the early morning and gives him a bottle so I can catch a few consecutive hours of sleep. So far this is working out alright, but really we'll likely be working on the best scenario for a while.

Well, that's things as they stand from our end. On one hand I can't believe it's only been three weeks, it seems like years ago that I was pregnant and it's hard to remember what it was like before the little guy got here. On the other hand I can't believe it's already been three weeks, it seems like just yesterday that he was in my belly and I was just trying imagining what life would be like... I don't think anything I imagined could've come close to this.

Many Thanks...

2008-01-07T21:38:00.001-08:00

Needless to say these past couple weeks have been a bit of a blur with visits to the hospital, doctor, lactation consultants, feedings every 2-3 hours, no sleep, etc. What does stand out is all the wonderful well wishes, welcomes, visits, flowers, messages, texts, emails, meals of food and gifts for Milo that we've received. It fills our hearts with so much love for all the wonderful friends and family we have in our lives. We are working on getting back to everyone, but might be a bit slow for a while. Thank you for being understanding and please don't give up on us! We're here, we just may be trying to catch some z's. Thank you again.

Our New Years With Billy and Reuben.

2008-01-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

We were released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. We came home and got settled in. On Sunday we started noticing a bit of a change in Milo. He was a little more tired that he had been (a slight difference since newborns sleep all the time anyway) and his skin had taken on a bit of a yellow hue. We were told when we left the hospital to be on the lookout for jaundice, if we noticed any yellowness past his belly button we were to give the doctor a call.

When we started noticing the tinge creeping into his legs we called the doctor's office immediately. It being a Sunday, we spoke to the nurse on call. She told us to switch up the feeding schedule so he was eating more frequently for shorter amounts of time and to get him into some sunlight if possible. It was a really weird weather day with a mixture of sun, rain, snow and hail so we tried to get him into the little bit of sunlight we could. He had also not pooped for an entire day. The nurse told us if he still hadn't pooped by 6pm to call back for sure. So, 6pm rolled around and no poop. We called the nurse back, who said she'd like us to talk with the doctor. The doctor called us and we were on the phone with her for about two minutes when she said, "I'd like you to go ahead and take Milo to the Emergency Room."

We immediately dropped everything and ran out the door with him. Luckily, the hospital isn't too far away and it is a hospital that is well known for their care of children, they even have their own children's ER. We were in good hands. We got there about 6:30 and they got us right into a room. They were really great about not wanting a 3 day old baby to be around a bunch of sick kids in the waiting room. So we got into our room and waited and waited. The doctor came in and had the nurse take some blood. Then we waited around some more for the results. Finally, the doctor came back in and told us that Milo was definitely on the high side and he would like him admitted for light therapy. Luckily the pediatrician on call was someone who is part of the pediatric practice he goes to. She suggested that Milo go back to the hospital where he was born to receive the light treatment instead of risking being in the NICU at this particular hospital where there was a risk of him getting even more sick. We jumped at the chance and away we went.

Erik dropped me and Milo off at the hospital and headed home to get clothes and whatnot for us. I walked into the hospital holding my little baby and completely lost it before we even reached the Family Birth Center. By this time it was 11:30pm and I hadn't eaten and I was tired, stressed and terrified. The nurses were absolutely wonderful and took very good care of us. We couldn't have asked for better care. We ended up staying in the hospital through late Tuesday morning. Our New Years celebration consisted of a 12:30am feeding where I left my hospital room to get some water and wished all the nurses on duty a Happy New Year. It wasn't what I had imagined at all, but it was definitely a New Years I won't soon forget.

We are home now, hopefully for good. Milo is in much better health and he is no longer yellow.

12.27.07*

2008-01-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

*This is an account of the days events as I remember them, with a little help from Erik. Some of the details may be a little graphic, so be forewarned.

12am
Erik and I finally force ourselves into bed after a day full of tasks, nesting, anxiety and excitement.

4:30am
After lying in bed awake for an hour I decide it's time to get up and start getting ready for the day ahead. I do dishes, make coffee, eat a small breakfast, try on a few different outfits and re-check everything at least three times.

5:45am
Just as we are making our final preparations to go to the hospital, we get a phone call. It's the charge nurse. She tells me they are too full to take a voluntary induction and can't accept me at this time. She tells me to call back around 10am to see if there is any more room, but that it's not looking good.

6:30am
After coming to terms with my frustration (sort of), I force myself back into bed to try and get some rest.

8:00am
My doctor calls to check on me. She says that she would like me to come into the office for my regularly scheduled appointment at 9:30am and that she would then call the hospital to check on space after our appointment. I am not feeling very happy or hopeful at this point.

9:30am
We arrive at the doctor's office for our appointment. My doctor checks me and sees that I have not made much progress in the last week. I am having strong and long contractions, but they are still not in any sort of pattern, nor are they very close together. The doctor says my bag of waters is starting to bulge, which is hopeful but it could still mean another week.

10:00am
My doctor calls the hospital. There is still no vacancy. We decide to schedule the induction for New Years Day, which is the next day my doctor would be on call. I notice some abnormal bleeding. My doctor says it's most likely from the exam, but if it continues over the next hour to call and come back in for another exam.

11:00am
I am still bleeding. I call my doctor and she asks me to come in for another check.

11:45am
We are at the doctor's office and I am changing out of my clothes for my exam when...GUSH, my water breaks all over their floor! This baby is not taking no for an answer!! We call the nurse in she gets us some provisions then leaves to call the hospital. I hear her on the phone with the nurse at the hospital trying to convince them that my water broke on it's own and that they had nothing to do with it. The doctor then comes in to check me. I am 5 cm dialated. My painful contractions are shorter, more painful, closer together and regular. The pattern we'd been waiting for for over a month!

12:00pm
We make the short journey across the street to the hospital. On our way we run into a couple from our child birth classes. I yell across the street to them that my water broke! So much for social graces.

12:05pm
We get checked into a room. It has one small window which has been covered up with frosted plastic material. It feels like a cave in there. Trying to as subtle and nice as possible, Erik asks if there are any other rooms available. Luckily, the nurse in charge was great and was surprised that she even put us in there.

12:10pm
We get checked into room 570. It has a view of the West Hills, falling snow and the coffee shop where I worked just a year prior. It is perfect.

1:00pm
Evie arrives. The contractions are coming fast and furious now. Erik tries to help me through them, but mostly I go into my own little world for the duration of the contraction. In between contractions I would look up and smile, just so excited that this baby was coming today after all!

1:30pm
My mom arrives. I am still in a lot of pain. I meet the anesthesiologist but tell him I'm not ready for him yet.

2:15pm
My dad and Carol arrive. I feel like I might throw up, but don't. It, of course, has nothing to do with their arrival.

2:30pm
I am ready for the anesthesiologist now. He comes rather quickly after the nurse places my I.V. He is a seasoned pro with a wonderful sense of humor. He makes the experience a lot less scary than I had imagined. My body still trembled though.

3:00pm
The epidural is in full effect. Our wonderful nurse, Brenda, checks me and tells me I am 7-8cm dialated. I share the news with my family and decide it's time for a nap, or at least to close my eyes. Erik doesn't leave my side.

4:30pm
I wake up from my short slumber with a lot of pressure on my right side. I feel like the epidural is only working on my left side, so I decide to call Brenda. She comes and checks me and tells me I am fully effaced, 10 cm dialated and ready to start pushing anytime. I am overwhelmingly panicked and excited.

5:00pm
Evie, my mom and Carol all take their spots in the room. Erik is by my side holding my hand and Brenda asks me to try some practice pushes. She says my doctor is on her way over, but that we could get started without her. They get everything totally set up and ready and I start pushing. Erik and Brenda both help guide me thorough each contraction with the pushing. I feel pressure with the contractions, but no pain. It's just how I had hoped it would be. Bets are placed as to the delivery time of the baby. The earliest guess is 6:30 and the latest 7:12.

5:30pm
My amazing doctor arrives. I am now really ready to have this baby. I get into a rhythm with the pushing. The energy in the room is amazing. My mom, Carol and Evie were all cheering me on in the background, Erik was in my ear whispering words of encouragement and my doctor and nurse were working in unison to guide me in the best way to push this baby out. In between pushing, jokes and stories are told.

6:30pm
He is just about past my pelvis bone, but we still have a little ways to go. Someone looses their bet. More pushing. Much more pushing. Erik says that he never saw me more focused, or so strong and determined. (he wrote that)

7:02pm
Milo Edison makes his entrance into the world, with long flailing limbs and a strong cry. A little earlier than some had expected but not soon enough for me.

Introducing...

2007-12-28T21:44:00.000-08:00

Milo Edison Helmer
born December 27, 2007 at 7:02 pm
6 lb. 13 oz. and 20 in. long

The birth was better than we could have ever hoped for, I will post a full birth story at some point soon, but for now I need to get some sleep! He is wonderful and we are one happy family.

Eviction Notice.

2007-12-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

That's right, kid, you're time's up!

We check into the hospital at 6 a.m. tomorrow and we're not leaving until we have this baby! We decided to go ahead and get induced.

I know that induction can be somewhat of a touchy subject for some people, but we feel we've considered all the pros and cons and that it is the right decision for us. Mainly, I feel that my body is completely ready to give birth (and the boy is ready to come out), it just needs a little push to get it over the hump.

Ever since the baby dropped before Thanksgiving my contractions have been progressively painful. I don't know how they'll compare to actual labor contractions, but I do know that some of them last up to 15 minutes and that is not normal. In everything that I've read it says in active labor your contractions should be a minute long, granted there's only a minute rest in between at some point, but still. A minute? I feel like I could do that! Each week I feel like I get more and more contractions, but they never pick up a pattern. I have also dialated each week. I am currently almost 5 cm. dialated! That's half way there! All of this information tells me (and so does my doctor) that my body is ready. I am ready to not be in pain any more (or at least for the pain to have the outcome that we want). With each contraction I am on the edge of my seat wondering if this is IT? It has been really hard physically as well as mentally and so that is how we decided to go ahead with the induction tomorrow.

Today has been a weird day. Full of nesting and preparing and mixed emotions of stress, excitement, anticipation and nerves. It's so crazy to know that it's all going to go down tomorrow. All of a sudden I feel so unprepared (though I know I totally am). So, I guess this is it, Internet. This is me signing off my last blog entry as a pregnant lady. Next time I see you, I'll be a mom!

Christmas Puke.

2007-12-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

Just found this website, it is awesome: www.tackychristmasyards.com

Rockstar.

2007-12-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

A little something to change the subject. (Thanks, Erik)

Let's Make This Fun.

2007-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems this baby is already stubborn as a mule. He's just going to let his mama walk around all dialated for weeks on end, worrying about going into labor at any moment. He's going to let his Grandma come all the way down from Montana in hopes of catching his birth only to let her leave almost a week later with nothing more than a kick in the hand and a heartbeat on the doppler (I told her I was going to make her a t-shirt that says "I went to Portland to see my grandson's birth and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"). That's alright though, just as long as he's happy in there. I will work at being a little more easy-going about letting him determine his arrival. I will let go of the pins and needles I've been sitting on.

We just got back from another doctor's appointment and there has been little change since Sunday, just a bit more effaced, despite some pretty consistent contractions. So, we wait. The doctor said it could be another week (or more) but I am also just right there. She says his head's so low she's surprised I am not just in the throws of labor. So, who knows. What she also said, is that I am a "contractor" which means nothing more than I just get to have a lot of pre-labor contractions. Neat! No, really it's all good preparation for the real deal. It just makes it a little hard to know when the "real deal" will be.

So, there you have it, internet. I have no clue when this baby will be born. I am already trying to brainstorm ideas to make him feel special on his birthdays because it's likely going to be right in the middle of the holiday season.

Anyone care to venture some guesses on dates and/or times?